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Enemy Of The Good
Jim Desantis
As a Pastoral Counselor I have long known that there is a powerful link between our emotions and our money. We may think that money is all about our rational selves but, in fact, our emotions very much determine our financial decisions. If you want to repair your credit, you have to deal with both the emotional and mathematical sides of handling your money.
First of all, give yourself some slack. There is no point in beating yourself up over a poor credit rating. Instead, promise
yourself that you are going to do something about it starting today and then create a plan to start repairing your credit. Berating yourself gets you nowhere. Taking action to improve your credit rating will improve your self-esteem as well as your credit. Your first step is contacting the major credit reporting agencies to see where you stand and then contact your creditors.
Avoid the excuse game. Lenders do not want to hear a lot of personal excuses. Whatever your problems have been in the past, you will seem like a much more reliable borrower if you focus on what you are doing to make things right. If you have been the victim of identity theft or some other bureaucratic problem, have a letter placed in your credit file at the agencies explaining what happened. However, when it's your fault, admit it and explain how you plan to fix it.
Don't make promises you can't keep! Don't promise to pay $100 a week when you only can comfortably afford $25 a week. Be honest with yourself and keep your emotions out of it. It feels good to make an exaggerated promise until the reality sets in and you end up feeling worse about yourself than when you started.
If you are totally honest, you will feel better about yourself and get better responses from lenders if your focus is on current action. Instead of wallowing in pity and explaining in great detail the personal and financial problems that led to a bad credit rating, give lenders a condensed version and then move on to a detailed review of what you want to do to repair your credit without over-promising. This removes the emotional factor and focuses on the mathematics which is music to a lenders ears and they will be more eager to help you.
Rebuilding your credit will not be easy and will take its toll on your emotions. Once in a while, as you reach a milestone, you need to reward your emotional being by giving yourself an inexpensive treat. You should do this through some means that do not involve further debt. If you repay your credit card bill, there is no sense in running up that bill again by spending foolishly just to make yourself feel good for the moment.
Instead, you should list some inexpensive and fun treats you could give yourself. For example, my list includes - "Buy yourself a half-dozen powder coated cream puffs!" Get the idea?
Keep your list wherever you keep your financial file. As you reach a big milestone, take out your list and immediately reward yourself with one of the items on the list. This will not only keep you motivated, but it will inexpensively keep you from feeling too deprived while you work on your credit rating.
Next, you need to face the emotional reasons you spend money.
Most of us carry a lot of emotional baggage when it comes to money. Some people see money as a marker of success. Some people use spending as a way of making ourselves feel better. Whichever the case, these attitudes lead us to much of our financial and credit problems.
If we rely on spending money to make us feel good, then we are apt to overspend. If we "feel poor" we will spend to feel rich. In the process we have no money for savings and investments, the very things that will make us truly rich and "feel good" about ourselves because we can buy anything we want without going deeply into debt. Debt never feels good, does it?
The ways we emotionally view money shape the ways we handle money. Some financial experts recommend that clients keep a journal, in which they record their money hopes, their money fears, and their thought patterns when
spending money. A journal can help you by revealing how you truly feel about spending money. If you can isolate the emotions that influence your money decisions, you will be well on your way towards fixing your financial problems.
Mixing spending with emotion clouds your logical mind and makes you incapable of making sound money decisions. It's that simple. It's a case of "logic over emotions".
It pays to separate your feelings of worth from your finances, especially when you are trying to repair your credit. Feeling self-pity, shame, fear, or sadness as you try to repair your credit score are financial killers. Staying calm and professional as you deal with credit bureaus and financial professionals will give you a new lease on life, a new confidence in your financial future.
If you tell yourself that your credit rating is just an important number, keeping it separate from your value as a person, you will have learned the secret of the Warren Buffet's and Bill Gates' of this world. They rightly see money and credit as tools to amass more money and credit. They have no emotional investment in the process and neither should you from now on. They give billions of dollars to charitable causes and it doesn't hurt them a bit. You may never become a Buffet or Gates but you can be a financial powerhouse at your level. It all starts with seeing money as a tool.
It's true that bad credit can be emotionally draining and boosting your credit can seem overpowering but it will be much easier if you keep your emotions under control during the process. If you find yourself dwelling on your credit too much or if you find yourself severely depressed, talk to someone about it. Your banker can be a good financial friend. Most banks have specialists ready to advise you for free.
A credit problem is fixable. It does not need to become an emotional disaster for you.
Remember. Money is a tool, nothing more, a tool that can get you a better life. Debt is a tool as well, a tool that can destroy any chance at a better life. Only you have the power to decide how the rest of your financial life plays out.
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