No matter how much you nag and complain at them to stop drinking, it is not going to do a bit of good. I know, it sounds backwards, but when you're emotionally stressed out, it will be more difficult to help your loved one. You have no verbal power over the alcoholic. What you do is have control over is your actions. What you do and say to the alcoholic will have a direct effect on whether or not they will continue drinking or not.

Be loving and supportive of the person you married, not the alcoholic. Don't take any of the emotional garbage they dish out while drinking. Have you noticed how when your spouse drinks they start to berate you and want to start arguments? Don't argue or fight back. Let them know you will not argue with them while they are drinking, period.

If they insist on provoking, you should just leave the situation by going into another room, go and visit somebody you know, go out for a long stroll or just listen to your MP3. You need to maintain a strong mind as you are the one who has the power to stop them drinking by making them see for themselves that they really do have a problem.

It is a very sad fact that the person on the receiving end is as mentally and emotionally ill as the alcoholic himself. This is why the innocent party must set their own limits for what they are going to take from their partner while they are drunk.

Whatever you do, dont allow them to see that their behaviour is affecting you as their whole ploy is to irritate you, so make sure you don't give them that satisfaction. When they do get into a state turn your back on them and try and see right through them to the person you used to know and love.

Now comes a long list of DON'TS so you don't encourage their behaviour. Don't assist them to bed. Don't allow them to drive while under the influence. Don't allow them to argue with you while drunk. Ignore them and Don't be forced into anything. Don't supply them with any booze even if they get down onto their hands and knees. Under no circumstances Don't treat them with understanding and certainly do not pay them any extra attention.

As soon as they are sober you need to change your chip and start loving them as you know and show them how concerned you and the rest of the family really are about their health. You will have to remind them of their violent behaviour while they are drunk and how bad you feel when they get into this state. The most important thing is that they really do need reminding in order for them to be able to make any progress.

All these points will make life living with an alcoholic just that little bit more easier and it will aid the burden of their abuses towards you. Sadly in a way you are not alone and you can discover other peoples experiences at the stopdrinkingadvice.org blog and it will soon come to light that your world can change and your partner too.