Learning how to make friends and to be a friend is one of the tough jobs that comes with being a preschooler. Before preschool, children usually play with one or two neighbors or siblings. Entering a classroom of ten or more children can be overwhelming. Who will I play with? Will anyone want to play with me?

Parents, think back to your school days. Do you recall who the most popular kids were? Was there someone whom ?nobody? liked? Did you ever wonder why some people made friends easily and others struggled? Here are three skills that we can teach our children, helping them to be more successful in developing relationships.

First, teach your child to be a good listener. All through our lives we prefer to be with those who listen to us. How do children learn to listen? They learn by watching you model listening skills! Establish eye contact and stop your task to give 100% attention. Respond with nods and affirmations. Preschool children can copy these habits.

Second, children who add a new idea are generally more fun to play with. If your child has trouble entering a group that is already friends, or already engrossed in an activity, an interesting object or idea can be a great help. An idea such as, ?I have this silver box that could be a secret treasure chest!? might elicit an invitation to join a group in the dramatic play corner.

Third, work to help your child express feelings. When children know the words to label their feelings they are more likely to say, ?I'm mad at you? than to kick over someone's block castle, or to bite! Begin with mad or sad, and later introduce more specific feelings such as frustrated, jealous, or afraid. Children who can appropriately express their feelings make easier playmates.

A playgroup or a preschool classroom is a great place for children to practice new skills, and learning to be a friend is a skill for life!