1. The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life. - Chi Chi Rodriguez
2. If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death. - Sam Snead
3. Drive for show, Putt for dough, Shank for comic relief.
4. These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. - Sam Snead
5. Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it's called the PGA Tour. - Unknown
6. An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play, it is always possible to get worse.
7. In baseball you hit your home run over the right-field fence, the left-field fence, the center-field fence. Nobody cares. In golf everything has got to be right over second base. - Ken Harrelson
8. Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.
9. Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty. - Harry Vardon
10. You can talk to a fade but a hook won't listen. - Lee Trevino
11. Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course. - Lee Trevino
12. Play it as it lies is one of the fundamental dictates of golf. The other is Wear it if it clashes. - Henry Beard
13. How can they beat me? I've been struck by lightning, had two back operations, and been divorced twice. - Lee Trevino
14. These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. - Sam Snead
15. Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them. - Kevin Costner
