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I just wanted to offer you a bit of advice and encourage you to look up to God for help.
I will share a bible story with you about an older couple whom God gave a fresh start.
In the time of Herod, king of Judea, there was a priest named Zachariah who belonged to the priestly division of Abijah, his wife Elizabeth was also a descendant of Aaron.
Both of them were upright in the sight of God observing all the Lords commandment and regulations blamelessly, but they had no children because Elizabeth was barren and they where well on in years. Luke 1:5-7.
An angel of the Lord appeared to him and said to him, Do not be afraid Zachariah, your prayers have being heard, your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son and you are to give him the name John. Luke 1:13.
Zachariah asked the angel, How can I be sure of this? I am an old man and my wife is well on in years. Luke 1:18
After this, his wife Elizabeth became pregnant. When it was time for her to have the baby, she gave birth to a son.
Her neighbours and relations heard that the Lord had shown her great mercy and they shared her joy. Luke 1:57-58.
Zachariah questioned the angel of God; he was thinking, reasoning in his mind how this can be possible.
An old man and an old woman having a child? He could not see how it would be possible for them to have a child at their age.
Here we see a mans reasoning and his thoughts, trying to hinder his blessing. How? He asked the angel of the Almighty God, the more than enough God.
The God of new beginnings. The God who specialises in making impossibilities, possible.
Nobody asks God how it can be done because with God all things are possible.
The Bible records that because of his doubt, he was not able to speak until the day Gods Word came to pass and the child was born according to the Word of God.
Even at a ripe old age, God gave this couple a fresh start, why? Because they were people who trusted in his word.
They were upright and faithful. They were a praying couple and God blessed them because of their commitment to him.
The bible says, No good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is blameless Psalm 84:11.
God says he will not withhold anything good from you, if your walk is blameless.
Why not open your mouth in faith and ask God to show you mercy like he did for Zachariah and Elizabeth.
No matter how bad you think you are God still loves you and will answer you.
If you have not been walking uprightly, open your mouth and ask him to forgive you.
Say to him Father, forgive me my sin and come into my heart. Come and show me your mercy Lord, in Jesus name.
Accept me the way I am now. And help me to walk uprightly from now on.
Now say a prayer in faith: Lord Jesus, I believe your word.
I worship you and I bless you. I give you praise. I thank you that you love and care for me so much.
Lord I believe your word. I believe that you truly care about me. Let every man and symptom and circumstance be a liar and let only your word be true in my life.
Lord I have read about the couple you gave a fresh start.
Even in old age you made them nurse a child. God you are so good. Give me also a fresh start like you did for Zachariah and Elizabeth.
I open my mouth in faith and speak your word over my body.
I am blessed because I walk not in the counsel of the ungodly.
I do not sit in the seat of the scornful. But my delight is in the law of the Lord, and in his law I meditate day and night.
I am like a tree firmly planted by the rivers of water I shall bring forth my fruit in season.
My leaf also shall not wither, and whatsoever I do shall prosper, Psalm 1:1-3.
Lord, I thank you for prospering my womb in Jesus name. Amen.
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