Whether the relationship has ended or whether you find your current relationship fading fast, the idea of getting back a love you have lost might sound like a dream come true. To make it happen, you need to get in touch with what matters to you and to your partner. And, you need to learn about the deeper patterns that make the heart of each human being tick.

Here are 7 Golden Keys for getting your love back.

GK #1: Stop the Fighting: The first step to rekindling your lost love is to stop the fighting and the recriminations. Screaming, yelling, or even harsh talk will never help the situation. Rather, you need to establish a base foundation of respect and civility every time you interact with him or her.

GK #2: Stop Second-Guessing Your Partner: At the core, every person is a mystery enshrouded in an enigma. You need to stop asking friends, family, and your hairdresser about why your partner is acting the way they have been acting. It is almost surely not the case that having ?just one more clue? will open the magic door to finding out the causes for your misery.

GK #3: Soften Your Heart: If your partner has hurt you so deeply that you cannot recover - such as through abuse or repeated infidelity - you may not be able to trust them again and your heart may never really be open to them again. For everyone else: you need to work to soften your heart. Open yourself up to the possibility of change.

GK #4: Bring the Focus Back to You: Since your relationship started fading or since it ended, you have likely been spending a lot of time thinking about what your partner is doing wrong or wondering what is going on. If you want to make the relationship work again, you need to start at square one: with yourself. What are your needs? How have you been acting in the context of your relationship?

GK #5: Do Not Ask Your Partner for Reasons: Your relationship is not a court case or detective mystery, and knowing all of the ?facts? and ?reasons? will not win your love back. Truth is, even your partner may not know his or her own motivations for doing what they have been doing. Most of us make decisions of the heart without using our heads, so engaging your partner's reasoning mind is not the best strategy to win him or her back.

GK #6: Find Out What Everyone Really Wants: To be successful in your relationship, you need to shift the focus from your partner to human nature. There are certain things that everyone really wants from a relationship. Once you find out what those things are and can offer them to your partner, your partner will amazingly reciprocate by responding to your needs.

GK #7: Learn to Diffuse Your Own Destructive Patterns: Before you reenter into your relationship, it is essential that you do some soul searching about any patterns of behavior you may be exhibiting that are contributing to your relationship woes. Chances are, if you enter a completely new relationship your same past patterns will resurface.

Getting back your lost love could be just what you need for a more fulfilling life. Sometimes, past relationships or fading current relationships can be saved and can even become better than they were before. The Golden Keys to winning back that past love involve moving beyond blame and rationality and instead grasping what really makes the human heart tick.