Mental health professionals have focused on a concept of learned helplessness, which is an acquired behavior of inaction and passivity to events that happen to you. This means that when something occurs, you decide that there is nothing you can do about it, and nothing is done to change the situation. The event appears to be out of your control and beyond your scope of manageability.

If you have a lifetime of disappointment or failures, it's not surprising that you may feel helpless in other similar situations. But the key to overcoming learned helplessness is to regain hope and know that you can control and even master your environment.

How do you do this? Argue with yourself. Ask yourself the following questions:

How do I know the situation is hopeless? Do I have proof? Is the evidence valid? If you can't come up with logical answers to these questions, maybe the situation is not as bad as you think, and you can actually do something about it.

Next, ask yourself if there is another way of looking at things. What are some other possibilities I can come up with that would make the situation appear differently? Allow yourself to brainstorm new ideas or alternatives. You may find that you can see your way out of a bad situation just by viewing it another way.

What you are doing is challenging your concept of the things you believe to be difficult or problematic and learning to redirect your thinking in a more constructive, effective way. Once you get into the habit of retraining your beliefs, you will find that your daily life moves more smoothly and without the drama you may be used to.