Not every decision is going to be popular, but you have to make the best decisions for yourself and your team. Ask yourself what decision you would be glad you made five years from now? To succeed in business, you have to want to win. Too often, women feel they have to be nice and pander to the feelings of others. This causes unnecessary stress and takes the focus off getting the job done. Women need to realise that leadership, whilst ultimately very rewarding, can be both isolating and lonely, staff can follow your guidance but the ultimate responsibility lies with you. Perhaps that is why so many of my clients are initially reticent to think of themselves as leaders. It is a loaded word - with militaristic and aggressive connotations. However, when clients redefine "leader" as guide, mentor and advocate, they come to embrace the role.
Giving Support Without Being Walked On
1. When people come to the door unexpectedly, say you are happy to help but that you can only spare 10 minutes. Be honest about your time limitations and often what could get said in 10 minutes is allowed to drag on into 45 if not well- managed. People will learn to be concise if there is a time limit.
2. If a colleague has a personal problem you don't feel qualified to handle, make sure they understand your concern but point them to HR. Often companies have counsellors on call through medical programmes or external coaches for those who need more support than you have the time, or qualifications, to give.
3. When giving negative feedback or challenges for growth, always sandwich it between positive feedback about their value to the organisation and how you want them to grow. This approach enables you to give constructive criticism without sounding harsh or demoralising.
4. If someone is being malicious with gossip, work with HR to give them a properly documented warning. Often these people are attention-seeking, but do not know how damaging their comments are to general morale. If they continue with the negative talk, check that you have followed appropriate disciplinary procedures and then consider asking them to leave the company. Retaining negative staff only sends a message to other staff that you tolerate negativity and disruptive behaviour.
