Somehow, somewhere some men have been conditioned to think that their lives would be more meaningful if they had a girlfriend. "But I feel like such a freak if I don't have one," says Jeremy, a 22 year old college Senior. "Most of my friends have one. I feel like a loser."

I hear this from men of all ages and backgrounds. The problem here I see is two-fold: first, that men who say these kinds of things do not have the different skillsets they need in order to secure a date virtually anytime. Secondly, there is an inherent problem in thinking that one NEEDS to have a girlfriend in order to feel more complete, popular, or whatever other reason you can think of. Happiness and fulfillment should come from INSIDE first and then having a partner, a girlfriend, or a romantic interest should be the icing on the cake. So if you are one of these men that feels and believes he has to have a girlfriend, that's a big red flag that you are using that as a crutch. A crutch for what, you might ask. It's a crutch for not facing the REAL, deeper issue(s) that drive that false belief that you have to have a girlfriend.

Men who want a girlfriend are coming from a place of weakness, not power. When a man desperately wants a partner it makes him act and behave in a needy and desperate way. Women pick this up even before you approach them. They can see it in your posture, your eyes, the way you move your arms, and other aspects of your body language. Then when you talk they can hear it in your voice and where you place your hands. You shouldn't "want" a girlfriend or "need" a girlfriend. You should choose to have one when you meet a woman that fits your criteria, won't play silly games with you, and compliments your life, not impedes it.

Men typically want a girlfriend for the wrong reasons. Men should "choose" to have a girlfriend, not "need" one because they are sucuumbing to social pressure or a feeling of insecurity or lonliness. There are times in my life where I did not have a girlfriend for several years. That did not mean that I did not date. I went out on plenty of dates, but I never called any of them my girlfriend. I've had women tell me after a few months that they wanted to move in with me and when I told them "no", they gave me an ultimatum.

Either take the relationship to the next level or she would end it. I would always end it right there on the spot. The fact is that my self-esteem and confidence are so high that I don't "need" a woman to originate my happiness. I think of my life as dessert and that any woman who wants to join me is simply the whip cream and strawberry on top. I realize that sounds a bit corny, but it's a very accurate metaphor. I'm not saying that having a girlfriend is a bad thing. In fact, it's a good thing when it is done for the right reasons.

So how does a man make himself more attractive? The list is nearly endless, but here are a few pointers that men need to seriously think about:

1. Physical Appearance And Hygiene - I used to worry about my height because I didn't think I was tall enough to date tall, attractive women. That was a huge waste of time and energy. I finally realized that I needed to focus on what I could control, such as my weight, my muscle tone, the way I ate, using only one spray of cologne (instead of half the bottle), the whiteness of my teeth, my hairstyle, etc.

2. Confidence - I'm talking about natural confidence that oozes from within, not the phony "I'm-such-a-bad-boy" confidence that immature men think is "cool". If you don't have it now there's only one way to get it: taking action; not just any action, but action that forces you outside of your comfort zone so that you actually grow. Think about it, if you have approach anxiety, you'll never overcome it if you don't approach. Remember the Rule of 25, which states you should eventually approach no less than 25 women per week until you can talk to any woman, any time, and any where.

3. Have A Life - Studies have shown that desireable men have active, social lives. Let's face it, when a woman knows that other women desire you, your social value skyrockets. One way to increase your own social value is to have hobbies and interests. If you couple this with a growing social network, you will naturally find yourself a very busy person with plenty of social events and opportunities to meet new faces. I can go to any major city in the world and within 90 days I can build a social network of new faces and friends that would take an average man a lifetime to build. If you remained focused there's very little you can accomplish.

Do you still want a girlfriend? Or do you feel like you still need one? It's very important that you take a look inside yourself to find the answer. You should never "need" a girlfriend. You should reach a point in your life where you "choose" to have a girlfriend on your terms. And that makes all the difference in the world.