Whether it be a one-time fling, an ex girlfriend/boyfriend, ex spouse, or an estranged lover, if you really want to get back together with that special person, the first thing you need to do is to get your head straight. Then, you need to take the right steps to reconnect meaningfully with him or her. And, you need the endurance to stick with your task, knowing deep inside all the while that the magic you once had can be there again between the two of you.

For the bold among us who are willing to give love with your ex another try, here are 5 tips for getting back into his or her arms again:

1. Don't feel ashamed about changing your mind:

If you are one of those people who care too much about what others think, you may be concerned that getting back with your ex will draw disapproving looks or words from those close to you. You may think that they will see you as wishy-washy or weak. If these types of thoughts haunt your mind, I suggest you take a deep breath and muster up the courage to ignore those thoughts. After all, are those people the ones who are now in an unsatisfactory relationship or who are spending cold, lonely nights pining away for that special someone? NO, that would be YOU! So, since this is your life and not theirs, push any notions about pleasing others out the window and focus on what will make you happy.

2. Focus on your love rather than your problems:

As you start thinking about your past relationship seriously again, it will be natural that your past issues with that person will come to the forefront of your thoughts. While it is advisable to be aware of what caused the relationship to go sour in the past, it will be more helpful for you to focus most on the love you feel (or have felt) for that person. As the law of attraction tells us, we manifest in our lives what we think about the most passionately and the most frequently. So, start thinking about any love you still feel for that person: you just may find that it will grow even bigger than before.

3. Make sure that the feeling is mutual:

As you become more committed to falling in love again with your ex, do a little homework to be sure that the feeling is at least potentially mutual. Look for any signs that he or she still thinks about you and wants you back. Of course, when you start seriously in your efforts to make it work again, you will want to hedge your bets that you will be met with a receptive heart on the other end!

4. Pay attention to the things you have in common:

Once you contact your ex and start communicating with him or her again, be sure to focus primarily on the love you have in common. And, focus on the things you have in common, as well: the memories, places you have visited, and interests you share. It is these common bonds that serve the love in our lives the most. Find a way to build a new life for the two of you around those things that you both cherish and value and keep your eyes on what will be, not what was.

5. Take it slow and be determined to make it work:

Life not always like a fairytale. Rather, we all face real challenges, issues and constraints with which we must deal every day. Your effort to rekindle your love with likely hit some bumps in the road from time to time. That is okay. Keep at it, and have confidence in your heart that it can work again. Visualize it working in your mind's eye, and then take the necessary steps to make it happen in your lives.

Falling back in love with your ex requires the full cooperation of your heart, mind and body. Focus on what matters to you, visualize making it work, and then keep at it until you achieve your goal. By taking the right steps, you just may be back in his or her arms in no time!