If you're both from the same faith and parish, then you may be able to find someone quite quickly. It may be some that you've grown up with or someone that you've grown to respect in your spiritual life. This is an important decision for you and your spouse to make.
If you only have a few choices, then you may want to speak with each of them in order to get a sense of how you will interact on your wedding day. You want someone who will calm your nerves and keep a light tone throughout the proceedings. They're your backup should you forget anything?your vows, your name, or what you need to do next.
Making the necessary preparations
In some faiths, you will need to take a series of marriage classes in order to be married in a particular church. So if your desired pastor is from that church, you may need to set up these dates. They are usually dealing with how to solve marriage problems and finding out more about your partner, so they're very useful. At the end, the pastor will determine if he or she thinks that you are ready for marriage. If so, they will do your wedding.
Looking for an alternative
If you don't have a particular faith, then you can look for a more secular choice. Many people can become a licensed minister by taking a few classes and paying a fee. You may even want one of your friends to preside over your wedding (not the drunk one), so they may opt to get certified so that the marriage will be legal.
A male or female minister choice doesn't really matter so long as they are legally able to sign a marriage certificate.
When you've found a great minister, rabbi, etc you will have someone else looking out for you and your new spouse on your wedding day. They are presenting you as husband and wife to the crowd and making the vows legally binding. Make sure that the law will recognize the ceremony and you're all set.
