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If You Really Want To
Adam Kayce
Your fingers tremble... the monitor fogs up... but still, you're trying to type those emails.
Pretty soon, though, your fear gets the best of you. And when that happens, working becomes very, very difficult. You procrastinate, avoid, daydream; anything to not have to face the feeling that at any moment, that wolf could get... hungry.
Far fetched? Not really...
When you're working, you hear negative thoughts in your head all the time. Thoughts of doubt, fear, disbelief that you're on the right track, or that you're capable of doing what you need and want to do.
It's these negative voices that most often cause procrastination, avoidance of responsibility, and struggle when trying to move forward. I mean, really, how can you focus enough to act productively when you've got that wolf salivating in your ear?
What do you do?
Ignore the feelings? No; living in denial is like trying to pretend the wolf isn't there, breathing over your shoulder... the fear eats away at you until you're a quivering, gelatinous mess.
Okay, so engage with it, then? No, not that, either; how successful do you think you'll be, trying to convince the wolf to leave you alone? Are your popsicle-stick fingers going to be much of a match for the wolf's powerful, gnashing teeth? Are your feeble arguments and affirmations going to diffuse the might of the darkness, with its persistent persuasions and perennial perjuries?
No, you'd have better luck trying to eat the wolf before it eats you.
Well, what's left?
What you need is a bear... a big, hungry Kodiak brown bear... one that's on your side. One glimpse of your big brown pal is going to send that scrawny wolf packing.
Where are you going to find such a big, furry friend?
Where else? Inside your heart.
Let me break this down for you: In Sufism, when speaking of the Divine, the term "The Truth" is often used. So if the Divine is Truth, what is its opposite?
Falsehood. Lies.
If there was someone you knew who lied 100% of the time, would you listen? Would you still hang out with them? or would you sever the relationship, wishing them the best, but getting them out of your life?
Of course you would. Listening to a lying voice all the time would be draining beyond belief.
So, why listen to the wolf? Why listen to the thoughts of negativity that tell you it won't work, that you can't do it, that you're not good enough? You know where they lead. You know they're falsehood and lies. Isn't that clear enough?
It's a simple equation, really.
The more you humor it, the more it will persist. And aren't you ready to get those kinds of doubts out of your life? Haven't you procrastinated enough? Haven't they gotten the best of you for too long?
Okay, but how do I do it?
Turn away. Ignore them. Go to the light. As soon as you sense those wolf-thoughts ramping up for another sabotaging strike, be firm: grab hold of your inner bear (your connection to the Divine; the place in your heart that knows the truth) and don't let go.
But isn't this just denial? I mean, the wolf has got me! Don't I have to deal with it?
If the wolf has you (meaning, you're gripped by the reactions of having listened to the fears and doubts already), then yes, you have to deal with it. And the best way to deal with it is to put the bear to work, fast. Turn to the wisdom and strength of the Truth to get free from the jaws of illusion. Turn to your heart's knowing, and see what it does to the fear.
But 90% of the time, you can sense the wolf creeping up on you, can't you? When you start to apply yourself at work, you can feel a subtle sense of dread as the doubts and fears start welling up inside you. That's the wolf, walking into the room.
And here's why I'm writing this article: If you think the only way to stop those voices of doubt is to hear what they're saying, then you're trying to have a staring contest with the wolf. Not gonna do the trick, I promise.
How much easier would it be, when you first notice the fear arising, to turn away from it and back to the Truth in your heart? To reach in with your heart, experience the Divine Presence again, and feel the fullness of connection?
Wouldn't it be best to call on the bear? Because you know what that wolf is going to say already.
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