Too many brides allow themselves to get pushed around. Your grand-aunt Tillie tells you that you must have a 5-layer cake because that's what she had, but you don't want a five-layer cake. Your cousin brags about how "they" went to Tahiti for their honeymoon, but you have decided on Hawaii. And then there are your parents' best friends, who say all the weddings they go to have a 5-piece orchestra.

You keep checking your "reality monitor." Are these people for real? You don't want to offend, but deep inside you're burning, because hey, it's YOUR wedding and why are all of these people telling you what to do?

Shy bride, speak out. Tell all of these "advisers" that you are doing fine. Don't be shy about telling them to back off.

You can do this in a nice way. Simply explain: "I know you want to help and I really do appreciate your suggestions. However, we have put a lot of thought into the wedding, and we have made all of the decisions ourselves. If we need any suggestions, we will certainly ask for your opinion." Do this with a smile but be firm. Just remember, that the purpose of the wedding is to "get married" and not to satisfy everyone else's whims.

To help you out, you may wish to consult with a wedding planner. However, with wedding costs going through the roof, many couples are deciding they can't afford a professional wedding planner on top of everything else.

While a wedding planner may seem costly at first, you should meet with several before you decide against hiring a wedding planner. One reason is that wedding planners often can get you a much better price on practically everything -- from the flowers, to the food, to the photographer -- thus making the the wedding planning essentially free.

Each wedding planner offers different deals, and so it's worth your time to do your due diligence and talk to a few about what they can offer.

You should also consider how much your time is worth. A wedding planner will save you literally hundreds of hours in those very precious months before your wedding.

You need to ask yourself: How do I really want to spend my time before the wedding? Enjoying it with my partner and friends, or running around town attending to the myriad of details that weddings require?

Finally, it is wise to consider the value of your mental health. More than once a wedding has pushed a bride or groom to the limits of their sanity, sometimes even resulting in cancellation of the wedding and the marriage.

A wedding planner takes much of the stress off the bride and groom, thus allowing them time in their last days as an engaged couple to walk the beach, watch a sunset, and dream about their future together.

All too soon the realities of life will ensue. Give yourselves time to enjoy your special time from the moment of engagement until after the honeymoon ...