You've just heard your spouse has cancer...now what? The first few days, and even weeks, can be the most emotional times of all. You're in shock, often have limited information, and are trying to support your spouse as well. Give yourself some time and space to adjust. Here are some recommendations that will help get you through this challenging time.
Acknowledge the News
Don't try to act as if nothing is happening. This is a crisis and your lives will change. Give yourself some slack. You may consider taking off work for a few days to get your breath back or cancel routine plans.
Communication
You don't have to tell anyone right away. Let this information sink in before worrying about how to share it with others or worry how they'll respond. There will be plenty of time to deal with this later. If you decide to tell friends and family, remember you are not responsible for taking care of them if they are upset by the news. Consider asking another family member or friend to call people you want to know if you can't or don't want to talk to them right now. If you need to be with family and friends, tell them so, if you need to be alone, be honest about that as well.
Gathering Information
If researching online is stressful or frightening, don't do it at first?.or delegate it to someone you trust. You will have plenty of time to learn more later.
Don't Rush Into a Treatment Plan
In most cases, you will have several weeks or even months to make this decision. The only thing you really need to do initially is to make sure you have the next medical appointments set up?.your follow up doctor's appointments, as well as second or even third opinions. After these appointments you will have the information you need to make your treatment decisions. Write down all your questions as you think of them, for your loved one's doctor, insurance company, or employer. By writing these down you can release these from your mind until they are answered, and in the early stages of diagnosis, it's very difficult to keep all of your thoughts straight.
Take Care of Yourself
Emotional stress is extremely exhausting. You will most likely feel very tired for the first few days. Nap, or at least lay down for awhile. Rent a movie or just take it easy for awhile. Continue to exercise if that's part of your life, if not, just go for a walk. It will clear your head and make you feel better. Eat, even if you aren't hungry. You have a journey ahead of you and you need to stay strong. These first few days are often the worst as there is very little information to go on and the emotional impact is enormous. It's important to remember that you won't always feel like this.