My friend's boyfriend was diagnosed with testicular cancer almost a year ago. It was early stages, and it's one of the most curable cancers around, and thankfully he's doing really well now and they're almost out of the woods. Yesterday, her sister was diagnosed with breast cancer. Again, early stages and good prognosis, but still it sucks that they have to go through this trauma again and so soon.

I expect the very best outcome for both my friend's loved ones. But it gets you to thinking all the same - eerily enough my family and I were discussing this at the weekend - how we never know the day nor the hour that we're going to depart this life. We all know we have a limited amount of time, but most of us have no idea when we're going to clock out. And for me, the great tragedy in life is that, despite this uncertainty, most people live their lives as if they have forever to live it the way they want.

And I don't mean living it the way we want in terms of achieving goals and stuff, but in terms of being how we want to be. We postpone that being-ness until we have achieved the goals and stuff. The reverse of the Be, Do, Have paradigm - most of us live by the Have, Do, Be paradigm believing that when we have our heart's desire then we can do what we like and then we'll be happy.

I know I used to have this outlook on life, and now I'm so grateful to no longer be wishing my life away. How enlightening it was to learn that we can be happy right here right now if we choose to be. We don't need to have our heart's desire to feel good. Our feelings are within us, they are determined by how we think about our external circumstances not by the circumstances themselves. And if there's a chance (which there ALWAYS is) that I might not be here tomorrow, then what a terrible waste it is if I don't spend today feeling good about what I have in my life right now. How tragic would it be to spend my last day on this earth wishing my life were different?

My outlook now is so different, and my life has been much better ever since, eventhough circumstances aren't always perfect. My wish for the world is that everyone would grasp how fleeting our time here is and make the very most of every single day. Stop postponing being happy until "someday" when life is more perfect. "Someday" doesn't exist. The past is gone and the future may never arrive. We only have right here right now.

And yet, I get how difficult it is to stay grounded in the present and stop worrying about the future. I still struggle with this myself all the time. Gladly, with practice, I'm getting better at it.

My suggestions for others wishing to do the same are:

Get really clear on how you want to be, and live from that place. Be happy. Be loving. Be true to yourself. Be kind. Be grateful. Be whatever you want, but Be Present in the Here and Now. In one of his brilliant Notes from the Universe Mike Dooley said:

"The secret to living the life of your dreams, is to start living the life of your dreams, at once, to any degree that you possibly can."

When you catch yourself worrying about eventualities that you have no control over, and in any case may never arrive, remind yourself that, if today turned out to be your last, what a shocking waste of precious energy it would have been when you could have been appreciating all the wonderful experiences and people in your life right now.

When you're with others, as well as being truly present with them, really treasure the gift of having them in your life. And when you're alone appreciate yourself and the gift you are in the life of others.

?To get up each morning with the resolve to be happy... is to set our own conditions to the events of each day. To do this is to condition circumstances instead of being conditioned by them.? - Ralph Waldo Emerson