Problems, obstacles, disappointments, or whatever we like to call them, are a fact of life. Things simply do not always happen the way we want them to, or go according to plan. Everyone has to face and deal with problems throughout their lives. Being able to handle problems more effectively will make a great difference to our lives.

Many people become so tied up thinking and worrying about their problems, that they work themselves up into such a state that it can become impossible to see a way out.

Then there are some people that seem to sail through life and achieve great success and happiness, and never seem to encounter any real problems. Does this mean that these people are just lucky and things don't go wrong for them?

Almost certainly not! More likely, they approach their problems in a different way to most people.

There are some simple things we can do that will help. The first thing to do is to stop thinking about the problem. It can be tempting to rehash every aspect of what happened and when, what you could have said or done differently, or why you did this instead of that, and so on and on. It's also easy to curse our bad luck or feel sorry for ourselves. But there is no doubt whatsoever, that this will get us nowhere. It can also get us so bogged down that we become completely immobilised.

We must make the decision to learn from the experience, look for any positive aspects to be found, and move on. We can learn a lot by looking back on previous setbacks and disappointments, even those that were catastrophic and devastating at the time, and considering how we feel about them now. Things usually happen for a reason. Looking back, some of the biggest problems and traumas I've experienced have brought about some of the most positive changes to my life. Sometimes we need to experience some pain to shock us out of our comfort zones and into action!

It can be easy to spend so much time staring at the door that's just closed that we completely miss the door that's just opened. The sooner we do this the better, because then we can do what really matters - concentrate on the solutions! This is by far the best way to deal with any problem. We must accept as a fact what has happened and then look for as many ways as possible to reach a solution and benefit from our altered circumstances. I believe there is something to be gained or learned from anything that happens to us, even if we only become a stronger or wiser person.

Consulting a friend or colleague who can offer an impartial view may help. There are also many resources that offer more detailed techniques that can be applied to most problems that will also help in other areas of our lives.

The most positive, enthusiastic and successful people never have 'problems'.

You know that's not true, but it's all about perception. They see problems as challenges, or even as opportunities to grow, to develop their abilities, resourcefulness and character. They learn what they can from every experience, good and bad, and concentrate on finding solutions and moving on.

We can definitely help ourselves by making the conscious decision to focus on solutions rather than problems. This is like deciding to choose positive thinking over negativity, and looking forward with optimism rather than back with regret.

"I have learned to focus my energies on solutions, not on the challenge itself. So often, I have seen people waste energy by moaning and groaning about a problem. Yet, if they just realigned their attitude and focused on the solution or on the opportunity, the challenge would not seem as big as they think it is." - Catherine Pulsifer