Your children have a good overall relationship with one another and seem to be happy otherwise, sibling rivalry is nothing to worry about. When things get out of hand and sibling rivalry causes unhappiness in a child parents should step in. Ignoring the situation does not make it go away and could cause difficulty with close relationships and other problems for your child in the long run.

Reasons for jealousy, sibling rivalry and provocation include:

Jealousy or aggressive personalities

A shortage of self-esteem

Lack of social skills

People who have low self esteem are often unhappy with themselves and are in search of validation others. This is especially true family members. As they attempt to find this validation they can become extremely envious of others around them. A person in this situation who also lacks social skills may act up when they are with siblings. He or she may also be provoked easily which is the main cause of sibling rivalry.

Dealing with Sibling Rivalry

When it is possible to deal with unhealthy sibling rivalries indirectly, this is the best solution. Direct wheat dealing with sibling rivalry may impair as though you are taking sides. This may result in one child feeling as though they are being victimized and then becoming withdrawn or aggressive while blaming you for the situation.

Tips on dealing with sibling rivalry:

Give all of your kids love, attention, and support.

Spend time with the child in question. This boost self-esteem and makes him feel important.

Find the reason that the child is unhappy.

Encourage your child to talk to you, but dont yell because this will have the opposite effect on the child.

After difficult situations have blown over discuss them with the child and ask if the child was watching their friends have the same disagreement what advice would they give their friends?

You might want to talk to the childs teacher about how to fix the problem and keep in mind that teachers have spent lots of time with kids and you might come up with something you can do together to help him.

If needed, you can visit a child psychologist just for information (dont bring the child along).

At any age a child can start provocation and jealousy. This is usually started in childhood when the child is finding who he is. This might also start when the child hits puberty, adulthood, or adolescence; it just depends on where they live and what kind of life they live. It is easier to deal with if the child is younger because when they grow up and move out they arent going to want your advice.

Dealing with adult sibling rivalries

If your adult child is having trouble with a sibling and this is disrupting the family, intervention is recommended. Here are some possible interventions:

In a group discussion discuss possible solutions to the sibling rivalry problems. The key is to remain impartial and non judgmental.

You might want to get a third party, perhaps a close friend or spouse, to talk to your child.

Have a third party discuss this with your children. This can be a close personal friend or a distant relative.

If the second sibling is more likely to accept advice, talk to him first. You will need a lot of tact and discretion.

Building self-esteem in your children is not always easy, especially after there have been issues with sibling rivalry. Never give up on getting a good relationship built between your children. Some of the closest siblings didnt start out that way; they had to work through their issues as well. In the end, if you make an honest effort to show your children how to get along and how to treat one another it will work out.