If we ourselves feel our self esteem benefits from receiving encouragement and supportive treatment by others, then clearly we can help others by encouraging them and reassuring them that they are valued and respected by us.

Not everyone is brought up in an environment where it is normal to give complements or pats on the back. Not everyone is used to this. It does feel good though, to hear that you have done something well, or have dealt with something in the right way.

My husband and I have a deal that every Saturday morning we use all our endeavours to be loving and supportive, and not to disagree. It's the week end, and after a week at work we are both tired and would like to relax, we don't always want to do the household chores and maintenance jobs that are necessary. Somehow there is always so much to do on a Saturday, so Saturday mornings can be stressful.

The deal is that we agree with each other, and congratulate each other for every good idea or suggestion. This is good practice at being nice and supportive to each other when we are both feeling tired. And it always brings a smile to both of our faces, and a reason for a hug and some mutual nurturing.

It helps us remember that the chores and jobs are less important than our support for each other and the need to care for each other.

Part of the commitment within family life is to give mutual support and encouragement. Sometimes we forget. Sometimes our egos or our schedules just get in the way. Sometimes we can be unforgiving, critical and judgmental.

However it is within our family that we can provide most help and support, and within our family that we can most benefit from it too.

Isn't it generally the case that when two people meet and fall in love, they smile at the whole world. When you are in love you want everyone else to be happy too. As relationships develop it can be hard to feel that euphoria with the world and our loved ones on an every day basis. Every day just creeps in and we act differently. We forget to smile at each other, and don't feel like spreading warmth and joy like chocolate chips to everyone we meet.

It is time to stop and think. What are some of the principles of happiness, confidence and good self esteem?

- Making our health and well one of our priorities.

- Nurturing ourselves.

- Respecting ourselves, our bodies and our minds.

- Respecting others.

So if we start to see how much happier we can be in our family lives if we make the effort to remember to be kind, supportive, and generous with praise and affection, we can help each other, and help ourselves.