Being irresistible to men is something that many women secretly covet. Why secretly? Well, in this age of feminist independence it seems to mean that you are too needy and insecure to admit that you actually want men to find you attractive and desirable. But the fact is that most women do want men to want them.

How do you make yourself irresistible to men?

One of the first steps is playing to your strengths. A woman should discover where she shines and then put herself in that light. This doesn't mean always taking the spotlight, quite the opposite. Knowing when not to jump in is as important as knowing when to make your move. If you're more comfortable in small groups, don't try to be the life of the party. Make the man come to you and then unleash your sparkle.

So what should you do?

Don't

. be cynical

. act like one of the boys

. moan and complain if something doesn't go the way you wanted, say what you need to say then move on

. deride all men and blame them for all the world's woes

. come on too strong early on or be bossy.

. be intimidated into acting in ways that aren't suitable to who you are. Be willing to take the first step or to turn away a request.

Do

. let yourself do things that men enjoy and you wouldn't normally try, even if it means getting messy

. give yourself permission to be a woman. Just because men complain about a woman's foibles doesn't mean they don't appreciate the differences all the same

. enjoy it when your man acts like the majority of his gender

. let a man delve deep to discover who you are and things you enjoy. You don't have to pass on your whole life story in the first half hour. You want him to come back for more, remember?

. be one of the first to leave because it sends out a message that you have a life outside of the event you are at

. remember your enjoyment is up to you - no one else can make you have a 'bad time'

. enjoy yourself and flirt

. let who you are shine through without any pretence or games

Of all of the above, the most important is to be yourself. Playing games can be diverting and a great ice breaker but never betray who you truly are to gain a man's interest.

One of the most crucial things you need to do is like yourself. If you can't accept yourself for who you are and feel comfortable in your own skin, then a man is unlikely to make that leap either. There is nothing more attractive than the inner glow of self confidence that comes from liking yourself. Have you ever noticed how the woman that is most appealing to men usually doesn't seem to care whether or not she is irresistible to men?