Polarity responder: 'It's too hot. And there isn't enough shade.'

Polarity responders are easy to spot and they're incredibly fun to deal with. I give them something to respond to that's to my advantage.

Take notice when you're eliciting criteria. The polarity responder will use the word 'different' or 'difference'. Another way to look at polarity responders, in they are 'differences' oriented people, people who see the difference in everything that you talk about.

If you have a disruptive employee or teenager or client who is a polarity responder, try this: 'Would you do me a favor?' PR: 'Sure. What can I do for you?'

'Only if you want to, you don't have to.'

PR: 'No. What is it? What is it?'

'Okay, what I wanted to ask you is, would you listen closely to what's going on and if you hear that I've ever said something that isn't quite in keeping with what you think should be going on here, would you bring it to my attention right away?'

PR: 'Oh, well, of course. But what you're saying is great. After all, you really know what you're talking about.'

'Well, I know, but I know you're going to find something so I want you just to bring it to my attention.'

Now this polarity responder is caught in a trap. If they bring it to your attention, they've done what you've asked. If they don't bring it to your attention then they haven't done their polarity. So either way you win. This keeps them from going into their polarity response. They can sit back and sort of enjoy. They're trying to listen really closely to what's going on so that they may come with one or two things for you.

PR: 'Well, you know, you said this and I was curious why.'

'That's incredibly important. I'm glad you noticed this. I knew there was no way you couldn't bring that up so I'm really glad you did.'

This will stop them from bringing up anything else up they might have found 'wrong' with what you were saying because they fear you responding, 'I knew you'd bring that up too' and that response really pisses off polarity responders.

Utilizing patterns to your advantage is the key to persuasion. This is a really easy one to counteract. My intention is to diffuse this pattern so it doesn't obstruct anyone else either.