There's an old wives' tale that suggests you can tell when dinner is ready by throwing a piece of spaghetti against the wall to see if it sticks. If it sticks, it's done. If not, keep cooking. Whenever I think of 'features and benefits' selling, I think of someone throwing a whole pot of spaghetti noodles against the wall and trying to see what sticks. Stupid, right? I think so.

Dale Carnegie would say that you have features and benefits, listing all the features and benefits of your product or service in the hopes that if you say enough you'll finally hit on something of importance to your prospect and they'll scream out, "Ooh! I want that one!"

When I hear a sales person start up with features and benefits, I immediately peg them as old-fashioned and get turned off. It doesn't work anymore. We're too sophisticated and we're used to people trying to sell to us. It's about as effective as throwing a pot of pasta against the wall. It also has the unfortunate side effect of making the sales person seem smarmy and outdated.

It brings to mind the character of Gil Gunderson on 'The Simpson's' who is a hapless and nervous salesman who uses old-fashioned techniques to no avail. He sweats, he begs, he lists all the reasons why you should buy the product he's selling or the house he has listed or any number of things (he's had dozens of jobs), and he always ends up failing because it's all about Gil. It's never about his prospect or their needs.

Features and benefits doesn't work, first and foremost, because it focuses on you. You're not the one you're trying to sell. Secondly, features and benefits puts you in the perspective of continuing to ask the wrong questions.

What's the antidote to features and benefits? One word: criteria. In whatever you're doing, whether it be sales, whether it be real estate, whether you're working this in terms of relationships, or whatever you're doing, if you throw enough stuff on the wall, the old theory goes, some of it will stick. Maybe. But using by using criteria, you're laser focusing on exactly what the prospect wants and thereby significantly improving your odds and the predictability of sales.

This might seem harsh, but the way I see it is if you throw enough stuff on the wall, you've got dirty walls. Features and benefits, for the most part, are not effective, and they simply mark you as someone who is unskilled and unprofessional.

There is one exception to this rule. Features and benefits is an acceptable tool to use when your prospect knows absolutely nothing about your product or service. If they're there to buy something they have no idea about, then go ahead, give them some features and benefits. But remember, even then, this is the second step in the process. The first step is always to elicit their criteria.

Give yourself the ability to aim directly into their heart, straight into their emotions, their deepest desires. If I can speak directly to you about what it is you want, if I can talk about persuasion, and about the benefit to you of being able to master it, all of the sudden I might start having a little bit more of your attention.