By the time children are a few years old, the holiday season, for most families, isn't nearly as hectic as it used to be. After going through a few Christmases, every family develops its own traditions and its own way of celebrating. Children and adults find comfort in the routine that evolves in the family's holiday observance, especially when approaching a time as busy as the Christmas season.

Between school and careers, holiday parties and church events, shopping and wrapping, there's just too much going on for most families to have to improvise their schedules each year. The holidays pass much more easily, when everyone knows about when the decorations should be up, or which week the letters to Santa Claus should be finished and mailed.

Still, the holidays are a time of year which can bring surprises which no one can foresee, surprises which can challenge a family's traditional way of celebrating. Surprises like the mid-December call from Uncle Mike that he and Aunt Marie are going to grace your family with their presence, this Christmas.

It might be welcome news, to some, that long-distance relatives are coming to visit, during the busiest time of the year. But even if the relatives who are coming are the favorites of everyone in the house, their presence will definitely alter the way the host family spends their Christmas. And that will add stress to the holiday.

When that call comes, most families will at least pretend to welcome the news. They know, though, that it will mean alterations in their lifestyle and their traditions, no matter how unobtrusive their guests may be.

If and when relatives invite themselves to celebrate the holidays with you, it's perfectly appropriate to inform them that, while they may be welcome in your home-regardless of what season it is-there are certain activities in which you and your family will partake. Let them know that, while they may have their traditions for celebrating Christmas, your family will observe its own holiday routine, which your relatives are welcome to join.

Relatives who visit can be a welcome addition to any family's Christmas celebration, as long as they respect the fact that their hosts have grown their own traditions together, traditions which enhance the family, their love, and the way they survive this busy and exciting time of year.