Every family knows that the magic of Christmas is never more alive than when celebrated through the lives of their children. The colors, the lights, the music, and the pageants are all wonderul, but even more special when we can experience them with our children. A child can make the whole family's Christmas brighter.

One of the most common annual rituals, during the Christmas season, is the family party, at which extended families come together from near and far, to renew their relationships and love, and to get to know the newest, youngest members of the clan. As families grow and divide and move around the country, though, the family Christmas party becomes more and more difficult, each year.

No matter how far apart from each other families may live, today, young parents can be sure that there's one custom that will never change-the insistence by grandparents that they have to see their grandkids at Christmas. It's a custom that every grandparent seems to engage in, every holiday season.

Family life has changed, though, since most of today's grandparents were new parents. Most young families, today, are two-income households, and holiday vacation time for Dad may be different than Mom's time off. Travel-planning, particularly during the holidays, is more difficult than it was a generation ago. Airline travel is more expensive and also more difficult, when flying with small children.

As much as grandparents might want to see their children and grandchildren at Christmas, the spirit of the holiday season will be diminished, if a family gathering is fueled by guilt. And for young couples trying to please everyone, the choice between which grandparents to visit can often lead to the kind of conflict that will dampen someone's Christmas.

Grandparents who want to see the newest family members at Christmas can make their childrens' lives much simpler by taking the traveling initiative themselves. It's much easier for an empty nest couple to fly during the holidays than it is for a family with infants or toddlers. And once at their destination, grandparents can offer to stay in a motel, rather than taking over someone's room, at Christmas.

Many grandparents find that it's easier to visit their children and grandchildren a few days prior to Christmas, when it's easier and cheaper to travel, and when the families being visited aren't as rushed as they are on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Then, many older couples find, they can schedule their own holiday time, at a resort or hotel, in a quiet destination, when great prices can be found. This way, everyone gets to enjoy a peaceful and guilt-free Christmas.