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You Love Me Tonight
Kari Hoopes
It is so easy to forget simple things like expressing love and appreciation for your spouse. We readily fall into routines in life and these expressions are often left out of those routines usually because they are akward and sometimes uncomfortable. It is particularly hard for men to express these feelings, especially when provoked. By provoked I mean when a wife says "I love you" to her husband, the husband feels mandated to say I love you back which can be difficult because it feels forced and no man likes to be forced into anything. Even though the husband feels love, he feels reluctant to express it because it is not his expression, but now a reply to her expression. Even more difficult is if the wife is having a bad day and needs to be told she is loved and appreciated. The worst thing she can do is say to her husband, "I just need to know you love me".
Having said all that, the title of this article states, tell them everyday. Both husbands and wives need to feel comfortable expressing love and appreciation but it needs to be unscripted. Express your love in random ways without any expectation of a comparable reply. In fact, let them know you expect no reply, by saying it in passing or some other way so they feel little obligation to reply immediately. It will stay with them and they will get back to you when the opportunity is right.
By doing it this way, your spouse knows you love them, but also does not feel they are being manipulated. The expression of love will be more significant and remain with your spouse longer as they remember this expression without expectation and as they think about how they will return they favor.
So the next step it to make ample opportunities later for them to return the favor. To do this, spouses logically need to be around each other. Make it a point to spend more time doing something together. Have fun, never be critical, and if all else fails, look deep into their eyes longingly. Also remember to be patient, for every person is different. Some people find it easy to express their feelings, and for others it is a near impossibility. Just remember that as you express your love in a non controlling way, and give your spouse ample opportunity to express their love, you will grow closer together and both of you will be happier together.
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