When a relationship ends, often there is a reaction of missing the other person. Sometimes we can miss the other person so much we actually feel physically ill and sometimes we actually are physically ill. We get headaches, eating causes nausea, we cannot sleep we ache all over. This is a genuine physical reaction to the physical absence of the other person. We sometimes think if we get back together, if we spend time together things will be all right. We may even succumb to begging our ex to come back or allow us to come back. We seek reconciliation because we are all afraid of pain.

Our pain becomes a burden we get angry; we want to hurt the other person. We loose sight of the truth, all anger comes from fear and we look for ways to hurt the other person. We become bitter and perhaps vengeful. We feel sorry for ourself and we waste time thinking of ways to hurt back. We accept no blame for our breaking up. We can choose to continue down this path or we can choose to take a long honest look inside and begin walking toward reconciliation.

What is missing from your life? The question is not who is missing from your life. Write a list of what is missing in your life. Do not stop writing until you have written everything, which comes to mind. This list is a list of feelings and keep writing until your head begins to clear and your heart rate begins to slow down. Maybe hot tears caused blurs on your list and this is good because tears wash away pain. Put the list down and go do something for yourself, read a book, take a walk, exercise, cut the grass. Do not use alcohol, medication or sympathy foods these will make matters worse. You must be willing to live through the pain to experience the joy and heal yourself.

Go back to the list, read it over and check each item, which is something your ex-wife or girl friend provided in your life. Make a new list of only those items and number this new list based on the importance of each. Now, of all the items on this list, which ones made you feel whole and which items caused you to feel inadequate? Based on the results of this final analysis, the questions are: do you need this person and are willing to change and make a commitment of love without compromise?. Call your ex wife or girl friend and invite her to dinner. Share what you have learned about yourself. Seek reconciliation if this is right for you or seek forgiveness and offer forgiveness.