The holiday season is here. One of the best things about coaching during the holidays, especially at Thanksgiving, is the season's unique opportunity to invite my clients to reflect with gratitude. During the weeks before and after Thanksgiving, I ask my clients to think about the things for which they are grateful. This year, for the first time, I connected this exercise to leadership.
Dave, a manufacturing company vice-president, is a member of his local town council who coaches his son's soccer team. He leads a very busy life. Dave came to a recent coaching session overwhelmed by the effort to manage everything on his plate. He worries about dashing from task to task with no time to catch his breath. His fatigue and frustration increase with each complaint. He has run out of patience with co-workers, fellow council members and the little soccer players. At times, he wants to turn and run away from it all.
This telephone session took place the day before Thanksgiving. After Dave spoke about feeling so overwhelmed, we discussed which of his choices contribute to those feelings. Then I asked Dave what he is grateful for this year on Thanksgiving.
There was dead silence on the other end of the telephone. Then more silence, and then some more silence. I thought I had lost the connection.
Finally, Dave spoke up. Emotion evident in his voice, he responded, "My life." He elaborated, saying that he is grateful for the opportunities life presents to him and for the opportunities he has created for himself. He loves his family, his work, his community. He is grateful for his talents and for the ways in which he is able to express these gifts.
A light had flashed on. Dave now realizes that while he runs around feeling frustrated and overwhelmed, and focusing on feeling frustrated and overwhelmed, he forgets to think about how much he values the things that keep his life full and busy. He really would not want things to be any different.
Dave's new focus on gratitude has energized him. He has started to look for creative ways to do the things that are important to him while allowing time for himself. In a matter of seconds, with a simple refocus away from overload toward gratitude, Dave was able to rediscover his values and to reactivate his creativity as a leader.
Life's myriad details, tasks and to-do lists trap us so easily. We quickly forget why we do what we do. We forget to take time for gratitude. When we forget to be grateful, we lose our connections to our authentic selves and to the things that are genuinely important to us.
We tend to gain more from those things that have our focus and attention. Take time each day to reflect on the things for which you are grateful. Encourage the people you lead to do the same. In so doing you will create a culture of support, growth and creativity.
