Jamaicans are known for using the expression "No problem!" and, on the other side of the world, Australians are known for the expression "No worries!" Well, the other day I was reading an article by Tony Mase, a student of Wallace D Wattles (author of "The Science of Getting Rich"), who suggested that we take this one step further and literally eliminate the word "problem" from our vocabulary.
I tried it on for size and found that I quite liked it. I usually aim to reframe problematic situations by calling them challenges. However, what Mase was suggesting is that we simply call problems "situations". It's a technique known in NLP as "reframing".
Do you remember the movie Apollo 13? The tagline for this movie and the one line from this movie that everyone remembers is, "Houston, we have a problem". Suppose Captain James Lovell, played by Tom Hanks, said instead, "Houston, we have a situation". OK, it doesn't have the same impact but can you see that a person hearing the second sentence would probably be in a calmer frame of mind and better able to start thinking immediately and clearly of solutions, or at least strategies to find a solution than hearing that there is a problem.
Recall an occasion when someone called you and said that there was a problem. You could probably feel the negative changes in your physiology. You may have experienced tightness in your muscles, your breathing may have become shallower, you may have developed a nervous twitch, you may have felt nauseous and you probably felt a sense of foreboding. And all of this may have occurred before you even knew what the problem was. Chances are that there are individuals in your life that when you receive a call from them you may immediately start to experience some of these symptoms because of the historical nature of your relationship with that person. It doesn't bode well but you have the power to change how you respond to such individuals and the 'issues' they present to you.
"Nothing in life is so hard that you can't make it easier by the way you take it."
Ellen Glasgow
Remember that what we resist persists and so if you are trying to eliminate problems from your life you will fail magnificently. You will find yourself with even more problems to deal with and you will be less equipped to deal with them. It is because we cannot eliminate problems entirely from our lives that the technique of reframing is so valuable. In the movie Elektra, Jennifer Garner plays the lead role of an assassin-for-hire. When asked what she did for a living she said that her work involved "laying off people". Now that's reframing and if an assassin can find a positive spin on their work surely you can find a way to reframe the challenging situations that you are confronted with.
No matter how challenging your situation, focus on things working out and this will be your reality. Focus on winning rather than losing. The art of reframing helps you to achieve this because it helps you to put things into perspective so that you can view you situation more rationally and less emotionally.
"Enter every activity without giving mental recognition to the possibility of defeat. Concentrate on your strengths, instead of your weaknesses - on your powers, instead of your problems."
Paul J. Meyer
You may think that it's easier to think of other people's problems as situations but not so easy to do the same for your own. Yet, there are people who literally make themselves ill because they take on other people's problems so, instead of being in a position to assist the person in need, they potentially exacerbate the situation because they are too empathetic. The ability to help others to solve their problems lies in your ability to remain detached and this is where reframing can be of great benefit. The ability to see a problem in a more positive light immediately shrinks it to a more manageable size.
What "problems" are you currently faced with? Consider them as "situations" instead and see how, straight away, they become less ominous and how you are better able to think clearly about possible solutions. Then, think how else you can shrink your problem by using the technique of reframing.
