Learning to walk before you run is what personal development is all about. As a child, I learned how to ride a bike with training wheels. Supposedly you never forget how to ride a bicycle. When I've occasionally ridden one as an adult, I've wobbled a lot before being convinced that was true. However, you do forget how uncomfortable the seat is.

When I got married, my personal development didn't include cooking, ironing or sewing. This lack of skill was covered by the for worse part in the marriage vows. I think my marriage has lasted because John and I hadn't been married before and learned the for better part together.

I never did learn to iron or sew. Although the AT&T ad said, "Let your fingers do the walking through the yellow pages", my fingers ran through them looking for restaurants before I walked into the kitchen.

Learning to cook is about reading directions. Unfortunately, John's personal development didn't include learning to read directions. He believes in learning by doing and that practice makes perfect - which is why I'm grateful he didn't plan to earn a living as an architect or a brain surgeon. Whenever John puts something together, a couple of screws are leftover. It seems John works fine with a few loose screws.

With motherhood I didn't walk before I ran. In spite of reading books, having birthing lessons and putting the pediatrician's phone number on speed dial, I was immediately run ragged. My grandmother wasn't prepared to have my mother, who wasn't prepared to have me. I don't know if my sons will be prepared to have children, but I'm not prepared to be a grandparent. First I want to be a grand parent - okay, maybe just a very good parent.

Being a parent you're always on the run. It seemed that right after my sons learned to walk, they wanted to learn to drive. Some parents think driving lessons are an unnecessary expense. Maybe there are parents who can turn little Johnny into a safe driver after a few spins around an empty parking lot, but I'm not one of them. "Slow down", "Signal before you turn", "Don't take your eyes off the road" - I was happy to pay for driving lessons. When a teenager is learning to drive, being driven crazy is a very short drive and a danger to all development.