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Top News Of 2008
John Sern
The Stock Market went bankrupt, Democrats and Republicans were nipping at each other like vicious enemies, and this was the situation of the whole world. All the companies were merely surviving and hoping that they could see the next year. As for America situations were turning out to be quite a lot suspicious as the elections for the President of the United States took place and Obama came up with the majority of people on his side.
Now we look at some of the weirdest news of this year.
President Bush went to Iraq for some meeting with the Iraqi President, where he was facing a press conference. Now when President Bush was giving away the answers, one of the Iraqi reporter stood up, took one of his shoes and threw it towards Bush. Bush was too athletic to get away from it. But that man fired another shoe which was only some inches away. Now everyone was shocked and was apologizing with Bush.
Nobody needed to see Verne "Mini-Me" Troyer's sex tape! But it was hardly as the guy charged with having sex with his picnic table, the woman who sold videos of herself having sex with her stupid enough dog, the guy who cooked his girlfriend for dinner or the Danish students who killed a cat (of real) and ate it on Face book.
In August, when Mrs. McKinney of California stood before cameras to unveil the cloned pups of her deceased pit-bull, Booger (for which she paid a handsome amount of $30,000+), knew she was different than what expected.
A few days later, British tabloids recognized her as Joyce McKinney, a woman charged in 1977 with kidnapping some Mormon missionary and getting out on bail. McKinney was charged of chloroforming the man on the steps of a church, took him off to a remote villa, shackled him in mink handcuffs, and forced him to have sex with her! Damn where in the hell was I.
Before the trial, McKinney ran off to the United States and had been living in relative obscurity. Once discovered, she faced the media, telling the Associated Press, "My mother said, 'Say something good or say nothing at all'."
Two other highlights in laughable litigiousness: a California woman sued Victoria's Secret after injuring her eye while trying on a thong. A New York businessman also sued over an eye injury. His came after a stripper accidentally smacked him in the face while taking her clothes off.
When a company launch a line of bikinis, for girls as young as two months old, the outcry from child advocates and feminists was as predictable as it was justifiable. What are they up to? The same could be said for GPS Lingerie-- underwear that lets a woman's boyfriend know where she is all the time. This great invention will hopefully go far.
In other religious news, the Virgin Mary appeared on an MRI and the face of Jesus turned up on an electric guitar (both listed on eBay for sale)
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