What they often mean is "I love you as long as I get that warm fuzzy feeling inside when I'm around you or when I think of you. Just don't ask me to demonstrate my love by asking too much of me."
When we equate love with internal feelings of bliss, it becomes dependent on our "loved" ones pleasing us on a consistent basis and asking very little in return. It's easy to feel "love" when it does not make many demands on us or our time.
Too often, we work harder to please relative strangers than those we say we "love." When we feel secure in our relationships, we tend to take them for granted and forget the importance of demonstrating our love on a day-to-day basis.
Love, in the truest sense of the word, is an action verb. We can say "I love you" and truly feel like we mean it, but the proof of our love is in our actions.
To see how our love stacks up in terms of action, we can ask ourselves these questions:
1. How do I demonstrate my love through action?
2. How do my loved ones experience my love?
3. If I didn't say the words, could they tell by my actions that I love them?
4. Do I demonstrate my love even when I don't feel "loving?"
5. Do my loved ones have to please me to "feel" wrapped in my love?
6. What actions from others do I experience as "loving?"
7. Do I only show love when I am "feeling" loved?
8. Who in my life demonstrates their love for me through their actions?
9. Are there people in my life who say they love me without providing any evidence of this love other than mere words?
10. What can I do differently to demonstrate my love?
11. Do I show love for myself in my actions - even when I don't "feel" deserving of this love?
When we reflect on these questions, we can heighten our awareness of our own ability to put love into action- with others and with ourselves. We can DECIDE to love when we see it as an active force rather than merely a feeling. True love exists when our actions match our words!
