We all have been in situations were we take our children to a park and they want to stay longer; we go out shopping and they want to buy more; we go to the movies and they want dinner after; we buy them a toy and their friends have a newer or better version, and the list goes on. We get angry, frustrated and disappointed and don't know what to do.

Today children face many challenges as well as many commodities. They start school earlier, are expected to read and write younger, and are supposed to be happy, well-adjusted and competent in many areas. But they also have it easy. They are exposed to technological and scientific advancements we never had. In the 1800's children under the age of 12 worked. Today, many postpone work until after college. Either extreme is detrimental and we need to find a balance.

I believe the trend toward "it's never enough", being dissatisfied, and expecting too much comes from many sources. First, we are in a very fast-paced society. Think about how things have changed. We moved from regular phone lines to call waiting so we do not miss a call. From beepers to cell phones so we do not wait to get the beeper call returned. We get angry when we have to leave a message on the cell phone if our friend doesn't answer straight away. Children are supposed to "need cell phones". From ICQ to e mail to instant messaging. We have drive-in tellers, drive-in pharmacies, drive-in laundry. We have automatic photo print development. We do not have to wait in line for the movies if we purchase tickets in advanced. What is the point to all of this? We are in a society of instant gratification. This creates children with little frustration tolerance.

Another reason is a parental philosophical perspective. Children are supposed to be rewarded, not punished. We reward good grades, good behavior, good performance. We also want to give our children the things we never had. We have money or credit to spend, and live in a consumer society were we are exposed to hundreds of ads a day. In many homes, both parents work and guilt is a great motivator to purchase things for our children. Often times, it is just easier to give in than to put up a fight and deal with the tantrum or demand. We moved away from the autocratic family model to the democratic one, where everyone has a saying and a vote. We are afraid that if we are too harsh on our children we might traumatize them.

Is this trend good for our children, our society, and our future? As parents we have a social responsibility to ask this. If we take time to teach children to make good deeds, help others, or volunteer time in community agencies we are moving a step closer to having children value what they have. Take time to teach them virtues such as tolerance, empathy, fairness, responsibility, self-discipline, loyalty, courtesy and respect. Demanding a please and thank-you, even to us the parents for everyday events. Demanding order and cooperation in household chores. Teaching the value of money by setting limits on their spending budget or giving them an allowance. By rewarding with words, hugs and praise, not material things. Demanding respect for privacy and personal space. By giving consequences for misbehavior and following through with promises.

All this takes time, but in the long run many headaches and difficult moments will be avoided. Children feel safe when the rules are clear, when the expectations are realistic, when they have opportunities to show off their accomplishments, and when the things that surround them matter. Being a parent is the most difficult, demanding, exhausting as well as satisfying job. Take time to question your goals, objectives, expectations and philosophical perspective. Try to achieve a balance between giving too much and being too harsh. Finally, see the uniqueness of each child and the virtues in them.