The Direct Location Satellite TV Method of ADD Treatment

I'm an ADD man. Attention Deficit Disorder. It's amazing how much this one little thing can define your life. At all hours of the day I must be doing something, otherwise I'll get immensely bored. I hate waiting in lines, and waiting for hours for things to happen. You want to find a way to torture me, don't break out the thumb-screws - just throw me in a blank room, with nothing in it. No direct location satellite TV, no books, nothing but blank walls and myself.

For this reason I must constantly find new ways to entertain myself. Just waiting in line at a restaurant's drive through for 10 minutes can cause me to go insane. You'll never find me without a book. A book is a wonderful thing - allowing you to have hours of entertainment. Unlike a high definition satellite TV, you don't even need to plug it in. And all this for less than the cost of a DVD.

Although books are beautiful things, there are still ways in which direct location satellite TV is infinitely superior. While cooking or cleaning you can listen to the TV, be it a high definition satellite TV or just a plain old direct location satellite TV, and it will help to keep your mind from going numb. In many ways direct location satellite TV is kind of like anti-anesthetic for the mind. Or like a soothing blanket for those who have ADD.

The only fault that direct location satellite TV has is its lack of availability on road trips. Sure you have the radio, but after 12 hours straight of a different song every 3 minutes, an ADD brain is just screaming for release.

But you can't watch a book while driving. And direct location satellite TV is only available from stationary objects, such as houses, or occasionally apartments. If only you could fit a direct location satellite TV into your car.

Seriously! It's great fun to drive from Utah to Missouri, and there are some lovely sights. But once you hit that treacherously mundane stretch from Just East of Denver to The Eastern 10% of Kansas, you are in for one boring, mind-numbing drive. It makes me long for my direct location satellite TV! Sure the sight of a golden-field of wheat with a quaint farmhouse is exhilarating for the first 5 hours, but the next 7 makes counting your arm hairs seem exhilirating.

But what can you do? Read a book while driving? Jam a direct location satellite TV on your car allowing you to listen to all of your favorite TV shows?

I've made that long trek over a dozen times, and believe me, this trip is not something that improves with age. So in the meantime, while we're waiting for someone to invent a mobile satellite TV, you'll catch me listening to the only thing that keeps me from going psycho on road trips: the original format of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - the radio show.