"Okay", I said to the doubting voice in my head, "I'm not the "i" in fashion; but there's no "u" in fashion at all". "The classic look is always in", I told the voice. "You're not out enough", it replied.
Well, I'm out enough to know that hats aren't in. They stopped being in style when women couldn't afford both hat hair and hair stylists. Gloves haven't been in for decades - unless you're a food handler.
Shoes, on the other hand - or foot - continue to be fashion statements; but I don't know how curved toes fit into pointed shoes. It's like trying to put round pegs in square holes. Putting feet into boots with four-inch heels would prevent Nancy Sinatra from singing about boots made for walking.
The number of inches above or below the knees, however,no longer determines whether skirts are in style. Hemlines go up and down. Necklines just go down. They go down so far they should be called cleavage lines.
Just because something's in doesn't mean it looks good on. The tent and sack dresses were perfect examples - no matter what color.
And have you noticed the colors for one season always clash with the colors for next season? This isn't coincidence. It's planned obsolescence.Orange was in this year, but orange you glad the only people still wearing it are highway cleaning crews?
Whether it's cleaning crews or men in general, they're much less fashion conscious then women. Men wear holes in their jeans. Women pay to have holes put in theirs. A man dresses for comfort - but not boys.
What boy could be comfortable in pants that hang below his hips? Instead of using mirrors, boys mirror what rappers wear. I don't understand the style unless we're raising a generation of plumber wannabes.
As for girls, they'll wear anything Brittany Spears wears. Thankfully, only Jack Nicholson went for the shaved head look.
I went for the black look. Everything in my closet is conveniently, mix and matchably black. If there were as much black in the National budget, we'd all be in the pink.
Pink may be next season's color. "You don't look good in pink", says the voice.
