"Neither a victim nor a perpetrator be." -Kenrick Cleveland
You know what bugs me? The victim mentality. If you've ever been in one of my classes or seminars, you've likely heard me go on a mini rant about it.
Do an internet search of the phrase 'victim no more'. You'll be shocked. There are workshops, and articles, a book, and online classes, to encourage you to be a victim no longer. There's a wallowing quality to being a victim. Oh woe is me.
Since when is it so fashionable to be a victim? What happened here?
A lot of groups choose the victim route instead of empowerment. I am not at all being difficult with any particular group here when I say this. I understand how poverty or coming from a background with violence can take away hope. However, I also know that we are in charge of our own happiness and our own desire to get ahead. Not long ago, Bill Cosby was torn apart for giving a speech in which he basically called the black community saying that "the lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal." The speech was to commemorate the 50th anniversary of the ruling of the Supreme Court in the Brown v. Board of Education decision.
This controversial speech was argued about in days that followed. On one hand, many people considered his words to ring true and claimed he was expressing tough love to his community. The other side believed that this privileged, rich, successful, prominent man was adopting "the white man's language" in describing his former community. The truth probably lies somewhere in the middle. I do believe a hand up is important as long as that hand up is taken advantage of.
There's also a point where people need to really get out of the negative cycles that have held them back. This is all people here, not just one ethnic group.
The minute we play a victim what we're really saying is that we have no way to change our lives. If we agree we've been victimized, then we're basically saying our destiny is outside of our own hands and the minute we come from that mindset then what we're trying to do is get the world to be responsible for us and that's not going to happen.
We can choose to be in control or we can just choose to keep on doing what we've been doing. The minute we choose to be in control, we step outside of victim mentality and the minute we step outside of victim mentality, we have options available to us.
Let us use the power of persuasion for ourselves and for the world. Let us decide that our thoughts matter, our lives matter and we simply can't depend on the rest of the world to save us. If we happen to get a hand up from time to time, great. Offer it in return wherever you can. But instead of waiting around for someone to act first, let's act first. Let's act first to save ourselves and the way we do that is by changing our thoughts such that we have responsibility.
