When a man loves a woman he expresses it in various ways; the ultimate expression of his feelings of love would be the physical act of love making. When this same physical act of love is turned on its head and used as a weapon to express hate, it speaks for the extreme depths a human being is capable of descending to.

Rape is forced sexual activity against the victim's wishes. It is the ultimate violence committed against a woman?body and soul. It is unheard of in the animal world and this fact should call for a re-think of what constitutes civilized society.

In the context of domestic violence, sexual assault assumes various connotations. Where power and control is solely in the hands of an individual and there is no bilateral give and take, chances are that the needs and desires of the one in control would be predominant at the cost of the other.

Often the victim's wishes are totally disregarded, and her body exploited for whatever gratification the abuser is at that moment bent on extracting. The domestic violence victim's body can be used for revenge, humiliating, intimidating and even downright abusing, depending on how demented the abuser is at the moment. This is his ultimate stance of power.

With this dehumanizing act, the offender hopes to gain total control over his victim, and this is meant to compensate for the obvious weaknesses that is riddled within himself, mental and emotionally. Their often over-inflated sense of ego is a fa?ade for their extremely low self-esteem. When they fear their fragile fa?ade is threatened, they can act very aggressively and resort to extreme violence in order to re-inforce their false sense of the self.

Some abusers are also emotionally inept in their capacity to feel any empathy for their victims. They are unable to, or refuse to acknowledge the feelings of physical hurt and mental agony suffered by the victims. Any pain their actions might cause is immediately blamed on the victim as having caused it all by herself.

Within marriage, rape is often not given the importance it deserves. There is the terrible misconception even in the higher echelons of society that, once married the man has every right to impose himself on his wife and it is the wife's duty to let the man exercise his conjugal rights.

Data on domestic violence reveal that victims suffer terrible psychological and emotional trauma after such episodes. They live in terror and there is a constant re-living of the pain and the suffering. There is also a heightened feeling of insecurity which makes them feel helpless and frustrated. Anxiety disorders such as post traumatic stress disorders, depression, and panic attacks are quite common among such victims. Domestic violence counselors have to work quite hard to help such victims. Many are suicidal and lose all desire to rehabilitate themselves.

But then there are the exceptionally strong women who not only succeed in rising up out of the ashes, but also go on to help other victims in similar situations. Since they have been through the same torture, they appear more genuine and understanding as far as the victims are concerned, and they find it easier to reach out for help. Their stories of how they overcame the effects of domestic violence, inspire victims to rebuild their lives and hold out hope for a better future.

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