It is very important that the mother of the bride allows for the bride's tastes, desires and needs to be provided for. This does not mean that they can dictate what happens, but rather should insure that what does is what the bride wants.
As one of the largest role players, here are her responsibilities:
-The Wedding Attire. The mother of the bride should help to find the perfect dress for the wedding, including undergarments and accessories. Not your tastes, but hers should come through.
-Guest Lists. The mother of the bride should help to organize guest lists, coordinating with the mother of the groom. If the mother of the groom does not contact her, she should make the first attempt.
-Help the bride and groom determine their wedding budget. While she should not do all the work, she should help them allocate where money is going and what are the important aspects to consider.
-Out of Town Guests. Those guests that are coming from out of town on the bride's side of the family should be well taken care of by the mother of the bride.
Arranging accommodations and transportation for them is her responsibility. Often this can be minimized if a block of rooms is available to guests at the local hotels as needed by the mother of the bride.
-Wedding Gowns. You will select your wedding dress first, but you need to immediately tell the mother of the groom what style and color it is so that she can match or coordinate hers with yours.
-Wedding Ceremony. The mother of the bride will need to insure that all the direction for the wedding is given and understood. Where will people stand, sit and how it all will happen are just a few of these concerns. Insure that the receiving line is set up properly as well.
-Hostess. As the mother of the bride, you are the hostess of the reception. Have someone help you to plan and execute it.
