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Took Her Bra Off
Mike Rosania
My family's schedule during Christmas usually consists of sitting in traffic on the way to the mall, standing in lines, and fighting with mobs of disgruntled shoppers in efforts to purchase that ?perfect? present. I know, I love it too! Unfortunately, my generation has been cursed with the gift of the internet and we do our shopping from a computer at home. We always get the shaft.
It's hard to explain, but I have this extraordinary talent for finding that perfect gift. I guess it all started when I was born. I was too young to remember, but my parents love telling the story. They were in college?studying, learning, probably protesting something?when my mom went to the doctor and found out she was pregnant. You wouldn't believe how surprised my dad was when she told him! She gave him such a great gift'me! He responded with something like, ?Oh perfect!? and ?This is just what we need right now.? Anyway, I guess my talent comes from the fact that I was the perfect gift.
But enough about me, let's get back to Christmas. A new baseball hat and jersey for my younger brother?Timmy really loves those Yankees. A year's subscription to National Geographic for my sister Suzy?maybe she would find a boyfriend if her nose wasn't always buried in a book. A gift certificate for a massage for Mom'I think her back's been hurting her from carrying all that laundry. And for my dad (drum roll please)?a bra! Ok, ok, I know what you're thinking ? ?He's so crazy!? ? But hear me out.
My dad likes cars. Actually, scratch that. My dad LOVES cars. My mom is always saying that his Corvette is his mistress and he would sleep with it too if the bed were big enough. He takes it to car shows, rally meet-ups, and the track. But last time I was driving with him, we turned onto a street that was under construction and he almost had a heart attack. Now let me tell you, the second he started rolling down the street and those pebbles started splashing up onto his front end, he started letting out words that I hadn't heard since that time I tried to see if his new laptop floated ? it didn't.
I shared the gift idea with my Mom and she thought it was swell. And as much as I wanted to spend time in lines, traffic, and crowded stores, my mom thought we should check out car bras online first. It turned out that we found an awesome automotive accessory site that had a huge selection of car bras, free shipping, and great customer service to answer all of our questions. Man, this internet is taking all the fun out of holiday shopping.
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