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Together For Disabled Children
Michael Russell
Learning disabled children are becoming more and more identified and as a result, need assistance. They are represented by all ages, grade levels and within all groups of people. Some are identified as learning disabled and as a result are receiving the appropriate assistance and some are not meaning they are pretty much surviving or not surviving on their own.
Unfortunately, what frequently comes along with these learning disabled children, especially those not getting any assistance, are behavior problems. These behaviors include many different characteristics but one in particular is the acting out child.
This particular child may be extremely frustrated because of many different reasons but one may be the inability to understand what is happening within him or herself. Due to this lack of understanding and frustration comes the acting out and aggressive behaviors.
This is the point at which something definitely needs to be done. These behaviors need to be addressed at home as well as at school but firstly, at home. It begins with the parents or guardians.
However, with all due respect to the caregivers, many don't know how to address difficult behaviors. Many find the aggressive behaviors intimidating and frightening.
I have learned through my many years that many caregivers simply do not want to confront their children. Some would rather pacify. Some choose to laugh at or ignore their child's behavior. They may choose to wait for more serious matters to occur thinking that they then will assert their parenting skills and take charge.
Unfortunately, many times this is much too late. Every incident that occurs that leaves the child in charge exasperates the situation. The challenge of regaining control for the parent has now become just that much more difficult to attain.
Many parents and/or guardians flat out just fear confrontation. They will avoid it at all lengths. They will justify not exercising proper control of their child every time because of this fear. This parental avoidance at a child's early age is detrimental. This lack of parental control, discipline, or whatever you choose to call it only leads to much more complicated disciplinary issues later in a child's development.
If the parent does not establish the rules, the structure and who is in control before adolescence, trying to do so during adolescence will prove to be quite frustrating and difficult for all involved. Compound this with the ongoing learning challenges that come along with learning disabilities and you have an extremely difficult situation.
Children need to understand at an early age exactly who is in charge. This should be done with consistency, firmness and with a good dose of love. A parent in control of the situation provides boundaries for a child.
All children need a strong sense of direction and clear expectations. A parent in control provides a stability all children need. Not only is it a need, but a want. Even though they may not be able to express themselves appropriately, children need and want boundaries, structure and a good sense of direction.
A consistent, loving, protective environment can be one that includes appropriate discipline. Establishing these basics will help with the additional challenges of the learning disabilities. For many reasons many parents don't or are afraid to exercise behavioral restraints.
Confrontation can be difficult, but appropriate structure will pay off in dividends once your child reaches adolescence. Your little boy or girl will already know what the limits are before he or she reaches the more challenging ages.
Let me assure you this much, they will eventually reach the age of rebellion and if you already have a well established relationship and understanding, your days and your child's days will be much more enjoyable.
With these foundations established, appropriate learning can occur and as necessary, different learning strategies can be introduced.
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