One of the most powerful skills you can develop when attracting women is observation—and I don't mean looking at body parts. As you'll find out in a bit, very few guys have this skill—but it's one that can immediately set you apart from all the waldos, one that can make you different to her (in a good way).

When most guys have a conversation with a woman, they spend their time “inside their own heads” instead of paying attention to the woman in front of them. This is a huge mistake because if you pay attention to her, she'll “tell you” exactly how create attraction for her.

The first step in developing your observation skills is to become a “whole listener.” That means when she's speaking (and when you first meet her you want her to speak more than you) you're paying attention not only to her words, but her tone, inflection, gestures and overall body language.

At first you'll only be able to pay attention to one or two things, but as you practice this, you'll be surprised at how quickly you adjust to her entire spectrum of communication, and are able to pick up on meanings nearly every guy misses.

What you also want to do is actively shut off the conversation inside your own head. Again, this is a “learned skill” because as guys, we want to think about what we should say next to impress her. But when you shut this urge off, and really pay attention to her, that in and of itself creates attraction because it is so different from her experience with other guys.

Another part of observation is watching how she moves- does she slouch? Is she upright? Are her shoulders rolled forward? Is she graceful, or does she lurch when she walks (I can't stand “lurchers.”) How does she move around you differently than how she moves around other men?

The power of observation is really unlocked when you're able to notice differences in how she responds to different guys, especially ones she's not attracted to. If she starts responding to you that way, you know something is off, and you'd better change your behavior.

This is not something you can learn overnight, but not something that takes years—if you make it a habit to actively observe all the women you interact with on a daily basis, within a month or so you'll get pretty good at it.

You'll know you're there when you get “flashes” of intuition, like knowing the moment to take her hand, make a naughty, leading comment, or kiss her. You won't have to wonder—your observations will let you know… and that's when the FUN really begins!

The Meaning Of Meaning With Women

On with today's episode. What does it mean when a woman smiles at you? Or when she flips her hair at you? Or when she ignores you? Do you know? Or does it even matter?

Today I'm going to share one of the most powerful things I've ever learned about “meaning,” something that can truly liberate your emotions around women, something that will allow you to never feel rejected or beat down again.

Here it is: there is no meaning to any event, except that meaning we assign to it. AND, we are free to choose to assign an event any meaning we want. Events have no meaning, we as humans are meaning-makers.

Now you guys who've done the Forum/EST deal will recognize that immediately. And while I'm not a huge fan of Forum/EST (nor a huge detractor), this is one of the things they teach that is profound.

Let me give you an example. Let's say you're dating a woman, and she suddenly dumps you for another guy. The event is, she quit dating you to see another guy, a real jerk. But what's the meaning? Well, it's whatever you assign it to be. Most guys however assign the meaning of “I am worthless as a man, I'm a bad boyfriend, and she'll never like me again.” How useful is that meaning? Not very, and in fact, it's destructive.

Now, consider this. The same event occurs. But you choose to assign the meaning of, “She disqualified herself from my life, giving me the opportunity to upgrade the position of girlfriend.” Or, how about, “She's temporarily blinded by the cocaine high of attraction, and when that naturally wears off, she'll be left with the embarrassment of hurting me, and dating a real jerk.” Much better meanings, huh? And because you've chosen a much better meaning to an event, you can make much better decisions, and control your emotional state instead of letting it be controlled.

Now, this isn't going to make the bad feelings associated with the event immediately go away, but it WILL make them go away much faster AND it will allow you to come up with a plan of action to create events with a more favorable outcome.

So, don't waste time wondering what a woman's actions mean—they are simply an event you can assign a meaning to. I'd recommend assigning the most useful one, and then taking action from there.