This article is for men only. It arises as a result of my decade as a relationship counsellor, during which time I sat opposite so many married couples with similar issues. Men usually reported disappointment with their wives' sex drive, and women usually reported a huge number of disappointments with any number of aspects of their husbands! If you're a man and you're willing to try a few new things, I believe some simple, sincere actions on your part could enhance your wife's libido and enrich your marriage wonderfully, resulting in fulfilment and happiness for all.
Make her feel supported by doing housework. Not just a token amount (how many times did I hear - but I do the dishes for her every night!) but a regular, habitual sharing of the load. Put yourself in her position: she arrives home after a busy day and walks in the door to face an evening of washing, ironing, cooking and cleaning up. No wonder she's not thinking bedroom! What a difference it makes when she walks in and sees the kids organized, washing in progress, dinner made and whatever else needs to be done in your household underway or completed. Suddenly she has energy and free time and she is tremendously grateful to you for helping with the work, and for understanding the type of relentless chores she faces. This is a magic recipe for love! But don't do these things expecting sexual reward that day: she'll see right through it. Do these things habitually and cheerfully and the change in your wife will be permanent.
Romance her! And again, not just when you want sex! Make romance a way of life. Make it constant, not just once in a blue moon, or every wedding anniversary. Some people dedicate one night a month to date, that is, spend quality time together alone, without the kids. Maybe you could take her to a fine restaurant or pack a picnic lunch and take her somewhere peaceful. Do what she likes to do. Be spontaneous and fun. For example, after dinner, roll up your pants and tell her to kick off her shoes as you walk on the beach like young lovers. Laugh a lot. You'll feel younger and you'll make beautiful memories together. Most women love a man who is willing to step out of routine and be a bit crazy.
Listen to her with genuine interest and concentration. Chances are, your wife is one of the women who utter twice as many words as men in any given day. So you will have to make time to listen and let her know you are listening by giving her eye contact, putting the newspaper down or turning the television off, and respond actively by asking further questions. Your questions should be based as much as possible on feelings: what did she feel when that happened, imagining how she must feel now, and so on. Resist the temptation to give her the answers to the problems she discusses, actually that's not what she wants from you, she just wants empathy.
Be a message sender. Short messages that punctuate her day will bring a smile to her face. A cell phone text, an email, a fax, a card arriving to home or work with a special message will not be easily forgotten. But remember, make it a regular occurance and let the subject of the message be her qualities that you adore. Get some tips from professionally made cards that contain mesages of love. Let your emotions and softness show. These notes can even be an invitation to a date with you! Make every day one that you re-court your sweetheart.
Be a cuddler. As a relationship counsellor I cannot recall the endless stream of comments that came from wives who were so frustrated and repelled by husbands whose only demonstrations of affection was during love making. That is one of the quickest libido killing mistakes made by men. Hug your wife at least 5 times a day without any sexual agenda at all. And be the instigator, she shouldn't have to ask. Kiss her regularly and make sure your personal hygiene is up to standard. Sometimes the best sex aids you can use are a toothbrush and aftershave! Little things when done often lift libido guaranteed!
Be a date remeberer. Never, ever forget a birthday, anniversary, Valentines Day, Christmas gift or any other significant date that you share. Keep a diary or find some method to remind you of each of these dates. Be the first one on these days to do something special or give a card or gift to your partner. Get up earlier and prepare a surprise for your princess. Don't even give her a chance to suspect that you have forgotten her and raced out and grabbed a rushed token gift that has no meaning. Being the first to remember lets her know the importance of her to you.
Investigate physical reasons her libido may not be what it could be. The reality is that some women have physiological reasons they may have little interest in love-making and it may be little to do with you. Perhaps you are doing everything suggested in this article and more, and perhaps you have a great friendship with your wife which doesn't seem to translate into a vibrant, exciting sexual relationship. Studies show that women can benefit from the natural herb, maca powder, for example, which is tried and true as a libido enhancer for both women and men. There is much evidence to suggest the physical benefit of maca both for energy and libido enhancement. It's worth a try. Many people have benefited from its use and appreciated its relative cheapness to buy compared to other libido enhancers.
This list of libido lifting tips is by no means a comphrehensive one that contains every key to unlocking the heart of that fantastic female in your life. However, the ones I outline here have been as a result of hours of relationship counselling and listening to what women want. Employ these suggestions and witness a positive change in the dynamics of your relationship. What are you waiting for?!