The old song about breaking up is hard to do is certainly true and at some point in our lives, we have all been there. It seems that as soon as the relationship comes to an end, we become emotionally paralyzed and fixated on issues such as where did it all go wrong? Was it my fault? What if I had done certain things differently? After you have completed this painstaking analysis, you may decide that ending the relationship is perhaps the best outcome for all concerned. However, what if this is not the case? What if you have a burning desire to get back with your ex?

I will be truthful with you. Repairing a relationship that has reached the separation stage is not an easy task. Depending on the reason or reasons for the break up, emotions are likely to be very raw for both parties and so any attempt at a rational discussion is very unlikely in the beginning. You may also have to assess the reasons why you would like to repair the relationship and ask yourself is it really worth it?

With this in mind, should you decide that you want to try to reunite with your ex, read on for some tips about what not to do when attempting to reconcile the relationship.

The first thing that you should not do is act on your impulses to try to correct whatever was the cause of the break up. By bombarding your ex with text messages, phone calls and emails you are simply making the situation worse and they are less likely to want to speak to you again, let along consider the possibility of a reunion. Instead you need to allow your rational head rule your emotional heart.

Instead make a decision to leave the situation for one whole month. This will allow the raw emotions to subside and will give both of you time to think rationally about what it you want. One month will give you enough of an insight about whether they have made the right decision or not.

Once you have moved beyond this period and you still want to try to reconcile, you should send your ex a letter or an email explaining in simple terms how you feel and what you think about the future and perhaps the possibilities for a reconciliation. Ask them to contact you to discuss further by stressing that you will not pressurize them and that you respect there decision regardless.

What you must not do is use this opportunity to reaffirm your undying love, to plead with them to get back with you or any other emotional blackmail strategy. This will simply end any chance of getting back with your ex.

Finally if it really is over and there is no chance of you getting back with your partner then however hard it is emotional you must be strong and try to avoid sinking into a depression. If you are susceptible to drowning your sorrows or making extreme decisions when emotional hurt try to keep yourself together. Instead you should try to keep yourself busy by focusing on things that you enjoy and that keep you focused.

In time the hurt will subside and you will feel much stronger and capable as a person and your experiences will mean that you can appreciate your next relationship with a deeper understanding.