I remember long ago, somehow I made a barely-conscious decision to purge useless information from my brain. This was probably to make room for newer, more exciting information, such as the name of that cute girl over there or the latest interpretation of the Special Theory of Relativity.

It was a double edged strategy. I was able to process loads of new data, but the mundane, such as remembering to wear matching shoes, suffered.

I moved through life controlled by a CPU which more resembled RAM (random access, or temporary, memory) as opposed to archival hard-drive storage. But oddly, I was able to conjure up weird pieces of exhaustively researched triviata which held my rapt attention for an intense half-life until they decayed and lay abandoned on the trail behind me.

Such is the world inside my head. A place where fascination can be triggered by the profoundly mundane, held under laser and electron microscope until all secrets are revealed, only to be abandoned like a pregnant hillbilly girlfriend.

As an older fart, the strangeness of my mind-space becomes even more noticeable. Now I have old-timers disease as well as Einsteinitis. I know I should be drilling down to some essential truth, I just can't remember what it is. I may even be drilling unconsciously without even knowing it.

So here I am, like millions in my demographic, who can't remember sh*t.

I am sure I get amazing amounts accomplished, I just seem to have lost track of what these accomplishments actually are.

Which is why I was forced to develop memory workarounds. We all have them. Here are some of mine:

1. Leave things by the door so I remember to take them with me as I depart.

2. Write myself to-do lists (a no-brainer).

3. Write to-do items in my Palm(tm) calendar.

4. Write myself emails.

5. Leave out reminder objects, such as bills to pay, in conspicuous places.

In addition, I hired a really clever guy to build me what I call a "Bounceback Server". It actually returns copies of my emails to me at intervals I specify. Think of it as Ginko Bilaboa on steroids, except that it can be validated.

If, for instance, I want my email to bounce back to me in one week, I copy the email to 1w@poingo.com. One week later, when I have thoroughly forgotten the incredible urgency of the project, my email reappears to refresh my decidedly unfresh memory.

At this point I will decide whether to issue yet another emailed nudge or hock-a-chinik in some other way. If I send out a reminder email, again I will copy the Bounceback Server for whatever interval I think will make me look incredibly efficient to my nudgee.

You might be surprised at the number of emails you could send out, even in one day, which would be be candidates for this type of reminder system. I send emails to the Bounceback Server between 5 and 10 times a day. In addition, I also open emails bounced back to me from the Bounceback Server another 5-10 times a day.

My projects maintain momentum. People know I care. Progress takes place. I appear to be at the top of my game even though in truth I am operating on maybe one last badly worn but highly experienced brain cell.

I have made my Bounceback Server available to you for a pitifully low price that is less than even a small handful of bootlegged Aderals, and it won't even attack your liver. You can even send emails using up to three different email addresses, and the Bounceback Server will still recognize you as a friend. Try it before you forget.