1. Write about lots and lots of different topics. Maybe write about the history of shoe strings one day and how to fly a kite the next. The more boring and mundane the topics, the better.

2. Do no research. The only thing that matters is your opinion. Why would anyone want to read something based in fact and created through intensive research?

3. Never visit or comment on blog posts by other bloggers. You are an island unto yourself. Don't worry about what those other bloggers are doing.

4. Make sure you don't use any traffic-generating keywords in your blog. That's a sure-fire way to accidentally get some search engine rankings. And you know what happens to web pages that have search engine rankings. They get traffic! That's not what we're going for here.

5. Blog once per month or less. The less often you blog, the better. People are much less likely to return to your blog if you very rarely make new blog posts.

6. Never list your blog with blog directories or social bookmarking sites. If people can find your blog, they may actually come read it.

7. Never link to any other blogs or web sites.

Obviously, this article is written in jest. If you want to have a successful blog, one that people actually visit, read, and come back to, then you need to do the opposite of the above steps. In other words:

1. Write about specific subjects that are in your field.

2. Write well-researched, well-reasoned, and well-written blog posts.

3. Participate in blog discussions with other bloggers.

4. Do keyword research to find keywords relevant to your business that generate some traffic.

5. Blog as often as you possibly can. We recommend three times per week.

6. List you blog with blog directories, ping those directories when you update your blog, and use social bookmarking sites to promote the blog.

7. Be generous with your links to other sites and blogs. You want your blog to be a valuable information hub. Don't worry about someone clicking a link and leaving your site. If your blog is good, they will be back.

If you follow the above advice, you will have a blog that is engaging, interesting, and that will generate strong repeat traffic. A blog that fits that description is one that can be monetized. To monetize your blog, use in-text links to link to products or services for which you are an affiliate. You will probably have much more success with this style of link than a more obvious banner or AdSense-style link. Not only will you generate more clicks, but it will seem less like you are advertising than simply making recommendations. If your readers trust you, then they might just take your recommendations...and make you some money.