Pruning fruit trees is very important. It allows the sun to reach all areas of the tree so that the fruit will be better and the tree will live longer I was determined not to call someone to do this for me, so I armed myself with a ladder and my best sewing scissors. I succeeded in opening the ladder and pinching my thumb in about 30 minutes. Then I climbed up this thing and had an idea of what Jack felt like when he climbed the beanstalk.

When I reached the first limb, I realized I knew nothing about pruning fruit trees but I figured it couldn't be that hard. After attempting to cut one of the smaller limbs from my tree, it dawned upon me that scissors weren't going to get the job done. So I borrowed my husband's chain saw.

It had to be better than my scissors, right? The problem was, I didn't know it would be so loud and it startled me. I flung it away on the ground and fell backwards off the ladder. Lucky for me that the grass is soft. I went back up the ladder with the chain saw (not before cursing the noisy thing) and started again. I was ready this time.

I tried to cut that same small limb again. Apparently, chainsaws are really sharp as well. I succeeded in taking out six limbs and cut halfway into another one, entirely by accident. Oh man, this really ticked me off. My precious tree! 1/4th of it was on the ground. Never mind the fact that I now had a big scratch on my forehead after one of the falling limbs struck me there. But I wasn't about to give up.

Grabbing the hedge shears, I started climbing the tree itself. After all, how hard can pruning be? As I was going up, I kicked over the ladder by accident.

My head was bleeding, there was dirt stuck to my butt, and now I was stuck in that bleeping fruit tree. I was boiling mad by the time my husband found me. I walked back to the house as my husband laughed, but as I did I gave that tree a withering look and muttering, "Until next year!"