Your 2 colors are for the groom and Bridesmaids. The neutral shades are usually the bridal gown colors.
The glitzy shade is to break up the color and add richness.
You can take any away but don't add. i.e. don't substitute the gold for another color or there'll be too many colors.
Going by your description of star shaped flowers, it would be nice to follow the theme through with a small bouquet of star shaped flowers. Cymbidium or Singapore orchids are beautiful and very delicate; I think they'd complement your gown detail perfectly. I believe they come in stems which would look lovely as a small teardrop bouquet, they hang rather than droop! As with all flowers, they do vary in color but I've seen them in the most beautiful deep creams. Some have a slightly pinkish centre which is preferable than the green looking ones. Keep the shades warm if you can.
Paper whites are lovely as well; they have yellowy gold centers which will complement your gold theme. They would look nice as a small round bouquet.
Do have a search on the internet and have a flick through some books for inspiration. If you take a picture of your dress round to some florists then they can also give you some ideas.
I hope I've helped a little more, do take advantage of the florist's services to help you make the right choice. Go round to lots, get quotes and don't be afraid to haggle if you're on a budget. Never reveal your budget if you can help it, this helps prevent the florist from steering you towards a more expensive flower or adding a 'little extra' on your quote!
Match the style of bouquet to your gown. I.e., if you have a fishtail or straight style, some long and elegant lilies or stemmed roses would look lovely carried as an over arm bouquet, for a princess style dress go for a full and round handheld bouquet and so on. Keep the theme, modern with modern, traditional with traditional etc.
Colorize, steer clear of green foliage as I think this will take over. I think a simple had-tied bouquet of cream roses would be a safe bet. You could have some gold detail put in with your bouquet - you can get some lovely wire and pearl sprays which can be dotted in with the flowers for a more contemporary look.
If you'd like to, you're more than welcome to send me the style number and designer of your dress. I can then take a look and will be able to advise you a little better once I know what you'll be wearing.
In reference to your man, keep to the black suit and white shirt. Ivory shirts tend to look dirty! For him to match in with you, add a gold tie/cravat. I love waistcoats and to set him apart from his groomsmen, a gold and ivory waistcoat would look lovely (or cummerbund if he's wearing a tux).
