If you are a grandparent or parent of a midsize member of the next generation, you probably are being offered "help" each time you pick up a tool to begin some home repair project. At toolhhill.com, we believe it requires a great quantity as well as a loving quality of patience to deal with the little helper. But if you say, "Well, thanks, I could use a little help," you might find that you as well as the child will benefit.

If the kid is really too young to sustain any real interest, just give him/her a piece of plywood to pound on with your smallest hammer. If the little carpenter is able to swing the hammer and can understand that nothing is really being accomplished, then screw a chunk of a 2 x 4 to the plywood and start a few roofing nails in it.Roofing nails are the ones with an extra large head that is hard to miss.

Now, we hope, s/he is happily pounding the nails into the 2 x 4. But you aren't off the hook; not by a long shot. You had better oversee it and demonstrate the speed and accuracy of the hammer swings. A six-year-old has more enthusiasm than ability, and if he tires or tries too hard, he is likely to smash a finger or worse. Explain the virtue of careful practice that allows his/her carpentry skills to develop gradually. Then remember not to leave him alone with any tools.

This quality time with your little ones needn't take a long time. They just want to be with you and be helpful. After the practice session, they may be content to hand you nails one at a time, or count your screwdrivers, or go tell Mommy what you are going to fix.

The biggest concern with children of any age and their proximity to tools is the potential for misuse. Not only can they hurt themselves (or you, if they hand you a hammer when your back is turned,) but they can really do a number on the new pane of glass you just picked up at your local hardware store. Can you imagine the creative scratches your biggest Phillips screwdriver could put on the solid oak front door of which you are so proud? The rule developing here is that the little helpers MAY NOT TOUCH ANY TOOL until you tell them they may. If you give them full attention and play fair about letting them really help a little, they will soon accept the rules.

Let's imagine the little darlings at nine or ten yars old. It may be time to present them on the next few Christmases and birthdays with a new tool box and a smaller-than-standard version of several common tools. You have seen those lighter weight hammers. They don't drive a nail in as quickly as your big heavy duty hammer, but they are more easily used by smaller hands and biceps. The hammer really should be matched to the size of the nail anyway, so be sure to provide boxes of smaller sized nails. And how about those cute little locking pliers that are only inches long? You could add whatever tools seem to be needed and used. Just keep on with that patience you developed when they were five or six. They will make mistakes, but you did, too, and still do, once in a while.

But don't make the mistake of buying too many tools all at once. It tends to overwhelm them and they really should learn the use of them one at a time. There is another great big mistake to avoid. I don't say this just because our website, toolhill.com, sells tools. Please don't buy cheap tools because they are "just to learn on." The learning will be more skillful when it comes through practice with well-balanced tools of good quality and design. BUY THE BEST YOU CAN AFFORD AND INSIST THEY TAKE PROPER CARE OF THEIR TOOLS.

If you can tolerate such good help for a few years, your payoff will be a youngster who is becoming confident in his/her skills and more proficient than you realize. One spring day she will surprise you by saying, "Dad, if you remember to pick up some new spline for the back door screen after work, we can get that fixed tomorrow morning." (Enjoy it while she is 12, because when she is 15, she will elect to sleep all Saturday morning.)

But remember, when she is in her own apartment after college, she will deal quite capably with many of those little problems that the other girls call Dad about. You will be so proud.

But, you are proud of all your kids and their various abilities and interests. If they don't cherish their tools as you do and if they show little talent or interest in your home repairs, don't beat yourself up over it. Pay close attention to their ideas, then promote one of their interests and share in those experiences, and love them for who they are.