One day, I found orange peel in the shower. I asked my house mates about it - I didn't really enjoy picking up orange peels after other people (especially in the shower).
Why ... WHY? was there orange peel in our common shower?
They went all weird. The guy looked down. The girl looked away.
I got very curious.
And then the girl said, in a husky sort of voice: Have you ever tried eating an orange in the shower?
It was my turn to look down. No, I said, I hadn't. Well, you should try it, she said.
Why?
She didn't want to tell me why. I pushed on. Why? I insisted.
You just have to try it, she told me. See what it's like.
What it's like?
Yeah, well, see what happens.
What happens? I was feeling somewhat stupid, but also mysteriously aroused by now.
She looked at me, like meaningfully, and said, Sten, in the shower you can make us much mess as you want with an orange.
That's nine years ago now. But I still haven't taken an orange to the shower. Why?
You could say: well, why would you want to... and that's a valid point, of course.
But a small part of me want to. It sounds a bit naughty, doesn't it? Eating the orange in the shower, really making a mess. Showing it into your face, squashing it, letting the juices flow down your body.
On the other hand, it is an action ever so slightly on the other side of ... I don't know exactly... sanity? ... the socially condoned?
It is just one step to the left of my everyday view of reality - what life is like, what "people" do.
I guess, in a sense, I don't dare. Even when alone.
To get it done, there is planning involved. Premeditation. We never have oranges at our house, so first, I would have to go get one.
Then, I would have to find a time to do it. Maybe not in the mornings, even though that's when I usually shower, because I don't have a lot of time before I need to go to work. And I don't think I'll get up extra early to shower with an orange.
And not while my wife is in the house. I'd have to sneak an orange into the shower. That feels weird. If not, I'd have to tell her about my - experiment - and that feels even weirder.
There is something about this that makes me very uncomfortable. What is that? Why is that? It is not dangerous. It is not frowned upon by society (maybe because society never thought about it).
Still, it's the fear, isn't it? "What would other people think?"
Wow, I have to face that fear. I have to buy that orange.
