Have you ever imagined what it would be like to take a shower?not in the comfort of your home though; surrounded by candles and ceramic tiles'I'm talking about taking a shower underneath a mammoth (pun intended) elephant ? that's what the big 5 is about! By no means am I saying I've done that before. I'm merely saying that I wish I could get closer to an elephant or rhino, rather than standing from the comfort of some game lodge's balcony; starring into the wild with binoculars, and then pointing out and screaming ? I see one, I see one!? ? Where's the Africa in that?

I always wonder what it would be like to wake up in a campervan someplace in the middle of nowhere; you look outside the window and there is a lion circling the van, predatorily pondering whether to come in through the door, or just shred its way in. I don't know about me, but I'm sure as daylight you wouldn't be that macho man you were back at the zoo; you wouldn't clown around and say ?you want some milk pussy cat?? Or pretend to be Tweety ("I tawt I taw a puddy tat!?,"I did, I did taw a puddy tat!")

What I'm saying is rather than sitting in a safari truck listening to Oom Piet [safari guide] I'd like to get one of those campervans and then go on some expedition to find the mystique leopard. Apparently, as much as it's one of the Big 5, they're very anti-social and prefer hiding (wherever they hide). Well, I want to find one without Oom Piet and I'll even get closer to have a better look so I can be sure it's not a cheetah, or worse ? some silly hyena.