Why hello! I see you've made it just in time for our daily four o'clock tea appointment. I'm especially excited over today's tea selection, it's a homemade concoction that has been in the family for many, many generations and I'm proud to be sharing it with you. No, no, it's not our usual black tea and milk, nor is it the spicy orange and cinnamon that we had the other week, this tea is different. My dear friend, allow me to introduce to you the wonderfully nutritious and rich compost tea!

Why are you making that face? No, no, we will not be drinking it! No I haven't lost my mind! This is very special to me; allow me to explain to you why…

I took note yesterday that you complimented me on my fine vegetable garden, which is, of course the finest in all of this side of Southampton. Anyhow, my secret to having such a fine and award-winning garden lies in my commitment to providing nutritious compost and compost tea for the garden. What is compost tea, you ask? Well, simply put, compost tea is the liquid run-off that results from the vegetables, food scraps and plants themselves, mixed with water. After I harvested this tea, I would then dilute it with a bit of water, pour it into a spray bottle and refresh my vegetables with this wonderful liquid fertilizer. Some gardeners like to call this tea "liquid gold," even though it sounds a bit crude. However, this tea is like gold for my vegetable garden; it is the reason why they're so healthy and free of fungi.

Avid gardeners such as myself are fond of this special tea. I would not recommend anyone drinking it, per se, but I do strongly advise any passionate gardener to utilize this naturally organic resource for their garden. And now that I've finished offering you my explanation of my fondness for compost tea, would you like to take some home with you for your garden? No? Oh well, quite alright, let us settle down and enjoy a nice spot of tea…