Facing divorce and stymied about how tell your kids? Wondering how it will affect them? Worried about hurting them with the news? When's the best time to talk? What to say and not say? What will they say? Not sure just what to confide?

Having the "divorce talk" with a child you love is one of the toughest conversations you'll ever have. Shouldn't you be prepared?

There are many common mistakes parents make at this time. Learn some of the most important ones so you can avoid them.

Asking children to bear the weight of making decisions or choosing sides. Children love both parents naturally and feel guilty when being asked to make choices. Make those choices for them.

Neglecting to tell your kids that they are not at fault. Don't assume your children understand that they are victims in your divorce. Remind them frequently that they bare no blame in any way related to your divorce.

Sharing information only adults should be aware of. Parents often do this to bond with their children or try to win them over. It creates a burden that children shouldn't have to bare. Talk to adults about adult issues.

Fortunately you can reach out to many different professionals to help you if youre not positive about how best to approach your children. Speak to a divorce mediator or see a therapist who specializes in this subject. Find an attorney who practices Collaborative Law which will result in more positive, cooperative outcomes. Seek the advice of parenting coaches, school counselors, clergy and other professionals. Dont forget the many valuable books and articles on this topic.

Dont underestimate how seriously your children will be impacted by this news. Speak gently and will love. Avoid the pitfalls that make a tough conversation even tougher on your kids. With care and consideration you can set the stage for a positive future for both you and your children.